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It's not about a personal attack on Reylo shippers, it is a discussion which stems from concern. Reylo is exactly like the vast amount of media being marketed at young girls and women that tells them that abusive men are romantic and desirable (e.g. Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey). Media is fictional, yes, but it affects us and how we perceive the world.
So what this "Reylo hating" discussion is trying to achieve is to tell young girls that even though abusive men are constantly being framed as romantic in media and fandom, it is not desirable behavior from a romantic partner. Because people dream of having a relationship like this in real life, and that's concerning.
It's not a personal attack or a "ship war". People aren't trying to say that "anyone who ships this is a sick fuck!!!". No. It is vocal critique of a larger, concerning phenomenon.
So what this "Reylo hating" discussion is trying to achieve is to tell young girls that even though abusive men are constantly being framed as romantic in media and fandom, it is not desirable behavior from a romantic partner. Because people dream of having a relationship like this in real life, and that's concerning.
It's not a personal attack or a "ship war". People aren't trying to say that "anyone who ships this is a sick fuck!!!". No. It is vocal critique of a larger, concerning phenomenon.
I think it stems from tumblr habits like an anon above mentioned, so I think people who are newer to fandom - or who at least never experienced fandom pre-tumblr - don't realize it's rude.
Then again, there are always rude people in fandom, so who really knows what's considered good fandom etiquette anymore.
Then again, there are always rude people in fandom, so who really knows what's considered good fandom etiquette anymore.
I’m inclined to think that there’s an element of middle ground in prompt discussion. Blatantly stating “this but with different pairing Y/Z” or “this but also with unrelated kink” is rude. That’s intentionally hijacking.
However general discussion of the prompt that expands on the original premise and may stray slightly from OP’s vision? Well, if it’s genuine interest in the prompt with ideas and speculations made in good faith, that doesn’t seem so rude. It can get writers excited about a prompt. It’s more publicity and excitement generated about the OP’s idea and a lot of comments under a prompt tend to draw the eye, especially in flat view. For instance “oh, what if that character Y you specified felt this way about character X’s kink you specified??” sounds like someone’s thinking about the way a prompt might play out and not attempting to derail it.
At the end of the day, I think that prompts are more about the writers who fill rather than the prompter’s vision. Sure, some writers will be filling for the sake of OP and there are plenty that will disregard commenters that try to change the original idea, and that’s great. Then there’ll be writers trawling through a kink meme looking for inspiration and a way to start writing for a new fandom. They’ll follow that inspiration wherever it goes and sometimes it will be different than what OP wanted, with or without other commenters, and that’s okay too. The only way to guarantee that you get exactly what you want is to self-fill (that last bit sounded dirtier than intended).
I also think there’s nothing wrong with the OP speaking up and saying that it’s not their thing and maybe a commenter should prompt that idea separately.
However general discussion of the prompt that expands on the original premise and may stray slightly from OP’s vision? Well, if it’s genuine interest in the prompt with ideas and speculations made in good faith, that doesn’t seem so rude. It can get writers excited about a prompt. It’s more publicity and excitement generated about the OP’s idea and a lot of comments under a prompt tend to draw the eye, especially in flat view. For instance “oh, what if that character Y you specified felt this way about character X’s kink you specified??” sounds like someone’s thinking about the way a prompt might play out and not attempting to derail it.
At the end of the day, I think that prompts are more about the writers who fill rather than the prompter’s vision. Sure, some writers will be filling for the sake of OP and there are plenty that will disregard commenters that try to change the original idea, and that’s great. Then there’ll be writers trawling through a kink meme looking for inspiration and a way to start writing for a new fandom. They’ll follow that inspiration wherever it goes and sometimes it will be different than what OP wanted, with or without other commenters, and that’s okay too. The only way to guarantee that you get exactly what you want is to self-fill (that last bit sounded dirtier than intended).
I also think there’s nothing wrong with the OP speaking up and saying that it’s not their thing and maybe a commenter should prompt that idea separately.
DA
I mostly agree, though I think comments that bring in headcanon that's popular to a majority of fandom (or at least, the loudest part of fandom) are troubling, since they tend to derail prompts that may not necessarily abide by that headcanon.
If I prompt "Finn/Poe, shower sex" and someone comments, "Finn probably really enjoys shower sex because he never had showers as a stormtrooper and Poe's the first one to teach him what a shower is", I think that's veering more towards hijacking rather than thinking about the way a prompt plays out. I think if the OP agrees with it, no harm done, but if not, it's a commenter who could have very easily made their own prompt detailing that specific headcanon and characterization instead.
That being said, most prompts will go in a different direction and sometimes that can lead to a great fic, but I think people need to figure out when their headcanon comments work better as new prompts.
I mostly agree, though I think comments that bring in headcanon that's popular to a majority of fandom (or at least, the loudest part of fandom) are troubling, since they tend to derail prompts that may not necessarily abide by that headcanon.
If I prompt "Finn/Poe, shower sex" and someone comments, "Finn probably really enjoys shower sex because he never had showers as a stormtrooper and Poe's the first one to teach him what a shower is", I think that's veering more towards hijacking rather than thinking about the way a prompt plays out. I think if the OP agrees with it, no harm done, but if not, it's a commenter who could have very easily made their own prompt detailing that specific headcanon and characterization instead.
That being said, most prompts will go in a different direction and sometimes that can lead to a great fic, but I think people need to figure out when their headcanon comments work better as new prompts.
NA
Because people dream of having a relationship like this in real life, and that's concerning.
OK, I understand that you mean well and you are seriously worried about this, and I sympathize. But I have some understanding of abuse, both from a place of personal experience and a place of studying the psychology behind it, and I really disagree with this way of approaching the question of abuse and how to prevent it. Preventing people from reading "bad" fiction will never be sufficient to prevent abuse, and feeds them a steady diet of Twilight and Fifty Shades will never be sufficient to cause it, because that's not how abuse works. More than that, it puts the responsibility for avoiding abuse on the (potential) victim, and not the abuser (who is making a choice), and that is incredibly destructive.
For the most part, people do not get into abusive relationships because fiction romanticizes abuse and teaches them to desire it. People do not want to be abused. They might dream about someone intense and dark and stalkery, but when it happens in reality, it's scary and unwanted. People get into abusive relationships because they fall in love with someone who appears, on the surface, to be nice, and who has other good qualities and treats them well some of the time. Abusive tendencies are revealed gradually and escalate, and by that point, the emotional entanglement is already there and difficult to throw off. Everybody who is capable of forming emotional attachments to other human beings is vulnerable to this, whether they've been taught to romanticize abuse or not.
So perhaps some of that concern could go to raising awareness of abuse in real life, educating people about red flags and abusive dynamics, encouraging them to trust their instincts and perceptions, providing shelter and support for victims, and, oh yeah, encouraging people not to abuse. All of those would be far more effective than browbeating people about the kind of trashy fiction they like.
Because people dream of having a relationship like this in real life, and that's concerning.
OK, I understand that you mean well and you are seriously worried about this, and I sympathize. But I have some understanding of abuse, both from a place of personal experience and a place of studying the psychology behind it, and I really disagree with this way of approaching the question of abuse and how to prevent it. Preventing people from reading "bad" fiction will never be sufficient to prevent abuse, and feeds them a steady diet of Twilight and Fifty Shades will never be sufficient to cause it, because that's not how abuse works. More than that, it puts the responsibility for avoiding abuse on the (potential) victim, and not the abuser (who is making a choice), and that is incredibly destructive.
For the most part, people do not get into abusive relationships because fiction romanticizes abuse and teaches them to desire it. People do not want to be abused. They might dream about someone intense and dark and stalkery, but when it happens in reality, it's scary and unwanted. People get into abusive relationships because they fall in love with someone who appears, on the surface, to be nice, and who has other good qualities and treats them well some of the time. Abusive tendencies are revealed gradually and escalate, and by that point, the emotional entanglement is already there and difficult to throw off. Everybody who is capable of forming emotional attachments to other human beings is vulnerable to this, whether they've been taught to romanticize abuse or not.
So perhaps some of that concern could go to raising awareness of abuse in real life, educating people about red flags and abusive dynamics, encouraging them to trust their instincts and perceptions, providing shelter and support for victims, and, oh yeah, encouraging people not to abuse. All of those would be far more effective than browbeating people about the kind of trashy fiction they like.
Virgin here. I am comfortable with being a virgin. Being a virgin is not the same as being innocent or naive.
I am here for sexy characters doing sexy things. Most of the time I need contexts to like the sexy action. And used up porn plot stay fresh with a healthy dash of nerd stuff.
I am here for sexy characters doing sexy things. Most of the time I need contexts to like the sexy action. And used up porn plot stay fresh with a healthy dash of nerd stuff.
Harry Potter was my first, than Marvel, DC and Star Wars. I rejected Star Wars for a while (No, not because Epi I-III, it had EU-Reasons). I am kinda done with Harry Potter.
I know the term "hijacking" form other memes, which means what your are discribing. In a lot of memes it is forbidden and monitored by the mods to a varing degree.
I am very relaxed about stuff like this. This is an open (and mostly) anon site and such things will happen.
Maybe a fic exchange is more for you.
I am very relaxed about stuff like this. This is an open (and mostly) anon site and such things will happen.
Maybe a fic exchange is more for you.
I am german and the very reason I am able to communicate with all you guys is harry potter fanfiction.
I saw it on tumblr tagged as 'darkpilot'!
I've sock puppeted before to share a guilty fic I didn't want to attach to my online identity and I've prompted for my sister for the same reason.
However one time I skipped the formalities and just basically asked the meme if they liked this idea I was writing, I only needed one 'yes' for it to count. HUGE postive response to it but I never finished it XP
However one time I skipped the formalities and just basically asked the meme if they liked this idea I was writing, I only needed one 'yes' for it to count. HUGE postive response to it but I never finished it XP
Thank you for this comment, it's beautifully put
When I first got into fandom I was a virgin but reading fanfiction caused my first partner to refuse to believe it because I was so good at the smex. So don't ever let anyone tell you fandom is a useless hobby because I made an experienced woman who had problems climaxing orgasm with just my tongue the first time I ever had sex. I don't even watch porn, just read erotic fanfiction. Know your ABC's ;D
That is beautiful. I once tried to learn German because I fell in love with Elizabeth das Musical but my college didn't offer it and my language app kept crashing X_X (The German went better than my French attempt but worse than my Spanish one. Don’t get me started on the Tolkien Elvish venture)
Now I'm stuck trying to decipher all the Latin my sister spews at me XD
Now I'm stuck trying to decipher all the Latin my sister spews at me XD
That's definitely an awkward situation. If you feel comfortable doing so, I'd definitely recommend speaking up in the prompt discussion.
Like, if someone comments trying to tack on a kink you're not into on your prompt, you could say "OP here - I have to admit I'm not actually into that kink, but if a filler wants to use it I totally understand. But could I ask that the kink be warned for if it does end up in the fill? Thanks." It's polite and let's the filler know your stance without stifling anyone. The kink you don't like might still be in there,but at least you've made yourself clear.
Alternatively, if people are headcanoning in a way that doesn't fit with your original prompt or even flatout derails it, you could say "OP here, love seeing all your headcanons. Unfortunately they might not really mesh with the prompt I made, but you should absolutely use them to make a new prompt, I'd love to read it!"
(Yeah, I've had to make similar comments on other memes so I've thought about this before.)
Like, if someone comments trying to tack on a kink you're not into on your prompt, you could say "OP here - I have to admit I'm not actually into that kink, but if a filler wants to use it I totally understand. But could I ask that the kink be warned for if it does end up in the fill? Thanks." It's polite and let's the filler know your stance without stifling anyone. The kink you don't like might still be in there,but at least you've made yourself clear.
Alternatively, if people are headcanoning in a way that doesn't fit with your original prompt or even flatout derails it, you could say "OP here, love seeing all your headcanons. Unfortunately they might not really mesh with the prompt I made, but you should absolutely use them to make a new prompt, I'd love to read it!"
(Yeah, I've had to make similar comments on other memes so I've thought about this before.)
OP HERE THIS SOUNDS LIKE A FAB OPTION.
(I'm going to start trying to get it to catch on right away!)
(I'm going to start trying to get it to catch on right away!)
UPDATE: THE KYLO REN/POE DAMERON TAG IS 'DARKPILOT' REPEAT IT IS 'DARKPILOT'
(Anonymous) 2016-01-06 12:01 pm (UTC)(link):D
idk, man, but I'm SO fucking tired of being told I must be "protected" from fiction and/or must flash my Survivor Cred in order to enjoy a kink.
That's why I generally ask for kinks and squicks before filling a prompt. I don't want to write a kink the OP might not like.
DA
I've had so many sock puppets over the years. Some for really filthy kinks, some for RPF, some for fandoms based on real people that toe the line of RPF, sometimes when I just want to move to a new fandom with no connections, etc.
Sock puppets can be great as long as you don't use them for nefarious purposes.
I've had so many sock puppets over the years. Some for really filthy kinks, some for RPF, some for fandoms based on real people that toe the line of RPF, sometimes when I just want to move to a new fandom with no connections, etc.
Sock puppets can be great as long as you don't use them for nefarious purposes.
+1
Wonderful takedown of obnoxious concern trolling.
Wonderful takedown of obnoxious concern trolling.
Kylo Ren/Hux. I can't get enough of them being terrible people.
Do you think the lack of Chewie in shippy fics is due to
(Anonymous) 2016-01-06 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)our discomfort with how much he looks like Earth animals? And doesn't speak a language we can understand, possibly?
Even though he's clearly established as someone who has perfect sentience, cognitive intelligence, romantic/sexual charm, and is thought of as an equal by his peers?
Asking because the scene where he hugs Leia and most especially the scene where he casually steals a jacket because Han said the Starkiller planet was cold made me interested in reading Leia/Chewie, Han/Chewie, and OT3 Leia/Han/Chewie, but then I thought about actually writing it and I borderline disgusted myself. What is going on with my psychology.
Even though he's clearly established as someone who has perfect sentience, cognitive intelligence, romantic/sexual charm, and is thought of as an equal by his peers?
Asking because the scene where he hugs Leia and most especially the scene where he casually steals a jacket because Han said the Starkiller planet was cold made me interested in reading Leia/Chewie, Han/Chewie, and OT3 Leia/Han/Chewie, but then I thought about actually writing it and I borderline disgusted myself. What is going on with my psychology.
See, I'd take this post more seriously if I didn't just see about six separate posts in the past twenty minutes on the reylo tag which literally were "ew, gross, you're disgusting for liking this" or otherwise to that effect. There's reasoned critique and then there's just bashing.
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