tfa_kink | DISCUSSION/OFF-TOPIC POST

I really feel bad when people say Adam Driver is super ugly or repulsive - I get the problem of women being conditioned to love any traits if they're on white guys (and mock them if they're on other women/POC) but these comments just fill me with anxiety. If people think he's fugly and undeserving of attention then what hope do I have? I'm not white but I have a big nose and big ears and a weird face so all the "lmao people and their love for ugly" comments hurt after a while.

Well my mom says if a man is not handsome, then he better be rich, if he is not rich, then he better be handy, if he is not handy either, at least he should be funny and responsible and willing to share housework and have earning potential. Get that earning potential. Also check his family history for genetic and chronic diseases.

And that a girl should be independent and hardworking and good at work and a domestic goddess at home. But all of that means jack to a lot of people if she is ugly (aka me, without the benefit of the virtues listed).

Harsh? Yes.
Bitterly Realistic? Yes.

Personally I find women get judged a bit more for what they look like, and men for what they can do. And most people are just, average, in everything.

So go forth anon and find someone average and crazy in the same things you are! There are all sorts of birds and fishes out there.

Okay, has anyone read "Uglies", "Pretties", "Specials", etc.? No spoilers, but one of the ideas that came out of the series (and the author actually looked at the research that had been done in this field) was that being pretty was largely a matter of conforming to symmetrical standards, the golden ratio, etc. People will nearly unanimously agree that someone does or doesn't look pretty. It's kind of hard-wired, interestingly. This is where the notions of "blandly handsome" or "inoffensively pretty" come from.

Beauty is different. Beauty must have imperfections to work. Beauty involves being "striking". Because of this, opinions about beauty, rather than prettiness are divisive and base-splitting. One person's beautiful is another person's ugly. Think about controversially beautiful celebrities. No one would call them pretty, but some will say they are gorgeous, while others will think that opinion is just plain wrong.

tl;dr pretty is a mathematical equation that people will even cross-culturally agree on. Beauty is a controversial opinion that's not quantifiable (yet).

Keep in mind that the dude also has a lot of people who find him hot like burning. No one is universally attractive to everyone, but the same unique features that turn some people off will be a draw to others.

Every time I've seen people guess Adam Driver's ethnicity, it's almost always Jewish or Hispanic or occasionally Native American, not non-minority white guy, so it's not like people's comments on how ugly he is aren't free from racial issues themselves. I'm still mad that my first exposure to Kylo Ren was when a friend was complaining about how people liked this ugly white guy and the picture she chose to illustrate how ugly he was was one that was actually pretty flattering but where he looked really Jewish.

OP, I'm so glad this isn't just me. I work at a pretty rednecky bar and when TFA came out, people were going off about how horrified they were that Han Solo and Leia's son was this ugly Jewish/mixed guy. I notice that a ton of mainstream media articles written by more upper-class racist white people, ie publications where blatant Antisemitism won't fly, were big on the "this guy is super weird looking, he's hapa/mixed, right?" either asking flat out if dude was East Asian or weird anti-Asian dogwhistles like "the planes of his face would look at home on the Mongolian steppes" and whatnot. I don't think this actually detracts from the point about white supremacy OR is anything even remotely on the level of what John Boyega and Oscar Isaac have to deal with, but a big +1 to "people's comments on how ugly he is aren't free from racial issues themselves."

I'd ask for you to explain how people are supposed to 'look really Jewish' but I don't want to feed the race wank you seem to be hoping for.

DISCUSSION/OFF-TOPIC POST

Re: Adam Driver's Stephen Colbert interview.

Re: Adam Driver's Stephen Colbert interview.

Re: Adam Driver's Stephen Colbert interview.

Re: Adam Driver's Stephen Colbert interview.

Re: Adam Driver's Stephen Colbert interview.

Re: Adam Driver's Stephen Colbert interview.

Re: Adam Driver's Stephen Colbert interview.