tfa_kink | DISCUSSION/OFF-TOPIC POST

Poe used to front a boy band on Yavin 4.

Phasma is from a planet where the male population was destroyed by an airborne virus, so the women use cloning to have children. Phasma's particular family is a long line of deliberately cloned warriors, and she wasn't stolen but joined the Stormtroopers as a slightly older child (around 8). I can't decide whether she was sent into the Stormtrooper program as "tribute" as part of a partnership with the First Order (in which case she's proud to represent her home planet), or whether she deliberately ran away and joined because she was impressed with the First Order's military prowess and the change to hold a bigger gun than she'd ever held before.

IDK how weird this one is but it's definitely swimming against the tide: Poe doesn't look like he's from Yavin 4 (the people there aren't white, but some other ethnicity that doesn't look like Poe at all). His parents chose to settle down there when they left the military, but both of them grew up other places and they don't have any specific ties to the planet. Poe grew up as an obvious immigrant raised with a mix of the planet's culture and his parents'.

That's actually canon though.

Rey is Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalore and Obi-Wan Kenobi's grand-daughter. At some point when her lineage is revealed, she becomes chosen as the new ruler of Mandalore and becomes a badass warrior queen.

Rey is Anakin Skywalker's clone, but genetically engineered to look like Padme 'cuz Anakin got sick of looking at his own nasty face in the mirror and wanted to be able to look at the one thing he really loved in the world.

JJ Abrams is writing his own Star Trek/Star Wars crossover and it's going to be pretty fucking epic.

Here for Spock and Kylo Ren in one universe. Their hate!sex would be amazing.

Re: YOUR WEIRDEST HEADCANON

(Anonymous) - 2016-03-11 21:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: YOUR WEIRDEST HEADCANON

(Anonymous) - 2016-03-12 00:39 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2016-03-12 07:21 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2016-03-12 13:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: YOUR WEIRDEST HEADCANON

(Anonymous) - 2016-03-12 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: YOUR WEIRDEST HEADCANON

(Anonymous) - 2016-03-12 01:54 (UTC) - Expand

bb-8 is "one of a kind" because it was never intended to be an astromech. bb-8 was originally intended as an automated soccerball-type game droid that would play against you so you could have 1v1 even by yourself. it was like a combination pokemon/nerf ball. poe's had bb since he was a kid, and tinkered around with bb's wiring so his beloved childhood droid could be his astromech when he joined the academy.

Aww that's adorable

At some point in Ben Solo/Kylo Ren's life he had very long hair, past his shoulders, possibly all the way down to his navel. He just let it grow and grow in part because Han HATES it, but also because he enjoys how it looks and feels. Most of the time he has it up in a knot, or tied back but when he's alone he lets it down and he likes what he sees.

Upon becoming Kylo Ren he cuts all his hair off in a grand, melodramatic gesture, discarding his old identity and becoming someone new.

I have half a fic that will never see the light of day written about this so I suppose it is my weird headcanon.

I really want long-haired Kylo now.

I'm strangely invested in the state of Kylo Ren's hair, so yes, I would absolutely read and enjoy the hell out of your fic.

I am here for all musings on Ben/Kylo's man-bun.

Ben would have been better off if Chewie had gotten primary custody.

truer words have never been written, anon - i firmly believe most things would have been better off if chewie was in charge.

100% agreed. ...I would also read that fic.

PROMPT THIS SHIT. YES. LUMPY'S ADOPTED BROTHER.

Re: YOUR WEIRDEST HEADCANON

(Anonymous) - 2016-03-13 22:38 (UTC) - Expand

Somewhere a first order officer in admin decided to be efficient and updated the forms for incident and damage reports to include some of the following options:
-force inflicted damage to personnel:
-- date and time: Star Date: It Was A Monday. Time: five minutes to lunch for alpha shift 1
-- participants: Lord Kylo Ren, inflicting. Lieutenant Mitaka, afflicted.
-- witnesses: The entire bridge crew, alpha shift.
-- incident incited by? Unknown (General Hux's glove brushed the Mitaka's hand when he passed the general a tablet.)
-- damage? None (Mitaka has requested reassignment to beta shift. HR recommends therapy.)
-- performance loss? None
-- impact related? No
-- directly applied? Yes
-- Further details or recommendations:
Feed Ren. It has also been observed that while the Master of the Knights of Ren retains operational efficiency to 72 hours of awake cycle, such incidents increase at hour 51 and beyond. Above incident occurred at hour 58 according to records reviewed after the event. Lieutenant Mitaka has also filed a request to transfer to telemetry if he cannot be reassigned within his specialty. It may be noted that radar tech uniforms are not so tight around the neck.
Reporter:
Captain Phasma, who is so done with this ship.

Thanks to arecent fill:

Phasma's dad was Gary the Stormtrooper (from Robot Chicken)

Oh, it's become mine too.

It's not really a "weird" but I'm pretty much convinced that Kylo Ren's a picky eater and that he hates starship food with a passion. And that he'd secretly love someone to cook him a nice meal that tastes like home. He's ashamed of this thought, however, and suppresses it at every opportunity which only fuels his issues more.

I have a sort of opposite headcanon re: Kylo and food, in that he has a monkish aesthetic and resents the need to eat, only eating when he has to and the simplest foods available. I love your headcanon too, and might semi-integrate it with mine to be that he's partly taken this attitude because he can't get home-cooked foods and all other food is just fuel.

-Leia is a natural femdom and took Han down to his knees night one
-Leia began using the force more often/casually while pregnant with Ben and while raising a force sensitive child
-Han was jealous because Ben wanted to learn to fly with Luke 'best pilot in the galaxy' instead of him
-Han did sex work
-Finn was the first order version of a teachers pet when he was young and got away with a lot because his instructors found him charming
-Finn believes in love at first sight
-Rey made herself vibrators and masturbated frequently while on Jakku because there was nothing else to do
-BB-8 frequently rolls over people's toes but is so cute that no one mentions it.
-Phasma is way more shredded than Kylo is, Phasma has an 8 pack

The First Order isn't regarded so much like the Nazis were...they're more like Space North Korea. In the core, there's some outrage over human rights stuff like the kidnapping of baby Stormtroopers, but mostly everyone kind of thinks they're a joke. It's not like they have another Death Star, right? Haha...oops.

I also am pretty sure that they have dedicated privateers who prey on ships traversing the Outer and Inner Rim area.