tfa_kink | DISCUSSION/OFF-TOPIC POST

Their age difference makes that SO WEIRD for me though. Unless you're really into the angst of Poe realizing he's into someone 10 years his junior with a totally different life experience. Because I can see the angst potential there and think Poe is such a gentleman he'd never push it.

I really like age difference in fics where the younger person is the aggressor, I guess, but get a strong read of Poe as the more interested party from canon.

I dunno, I definitely buy it in fic if, given time, Finn reciprocates the interest and becomes the aggressor.

Nine years isn't that big a difference.

Thirty-two year olds aren't that ancient.

It also depends on where those nine years are. 23/32 is a noticeable gap but not insurmountable to me, but 17/26 would be MASSIVELY different, for example. 40/49 would be nothing at all.

Agree, the reason why I find Rey/Kylo or Rey/Poe more uncomfortable than Poe/Finn is because Rey is supposed to be 18/19. I think post 21 years old the age gaps are a lot easier to get past.

But according to the internet, 30 is basically being on your death bed.

Society, too. Or at least for women, unfortunately.

I can't wait for all the young'uns who freak out about thirty year olds in fandom or whatever to hit 30 themselves, and realize they're still exactly the same person.

I'd find it sad if those young'uns didn't change at all by the time they hit 30.

In terms of interests, I keep seeing these posts where they all seem to think they'll just magically stop being fannish at 30, or 40 or whatever. They think that shipping will no longer appeal to them and they won't enjoy movies or TV n the same way any more. It's strange. I'm pretty sure that even when I was 18 I didn't assume that my only interests in life at 30 would be mortgages and stocks and shares or other boring supposedly "adult" shit. I always knew fiction was going to be my life interest, and that certainly hasn't changed since I first got into fandom 12 or 13 years ago.

I've seen multiple people in fandom say they cried when they turned 20 or that they'll cry when they turn 25 or 30 because it's so old. It's really disheartening that there's still all these internalized issues for women about aging. I'd rather stay 30 than ever go back to 18 or my early 20s.

But there's also this ridiculous idea that you have to stop having hobbies and interests when you hit adulthood. I was in fandom at 18 and I'm still here at 32, and while interests and participation have changed, I'll stay with fandom until I'm actually on my death bed.

I'm 30 and I feel ya, anon. I'm in mostly different fandoms now than I was when I was 18. Although I do occasionally stop by for a visit in my old-old-fandoms. But yeah, I will be really surprised if, at 40 or 50, I no longer have any of the same interests that I do now. I don't think anyone changes that drastically, tbh.

The ageing-obsession thing is pretty sad, and I think it's getting worse, in regards to people thinking their lives are over at X age.

The only big difference I've noticed is that I don't have as much time for fandom now than I did when I was in high school or college. It's not my main priority or focus when it comes to hobbies, but that doesn't mean I love it any less.

There are some old fandoms I'll never go back and visit because I have grown out of them and there are some fics I no longer enjoy upon a reread because my tastes have changed, but there are also old fandoms and old fics that I still enjoy even after several years have passed.

I think social media makes the obsession over aging worse because once one person posts about their worries, it tends to snowball. But I think I've always been in the minority of people who doesn't worry about getting older.

Actually I'm the person that's fussing about a 32-year old dating a 22-year old, and that's literally because I'm 28 and the idea of dating someone that's 22 is so gross to me. I briefly dated a college girl a few years ago, and she was just SO YOUNG to me. We didn't have much in common. I felt super creepy about doing it, and it didn't last long.

Not because "ew, 30, gross" but more like, "ehhhhh it's easy to think that's not so creepy when you're on the young side but looking back that's weird"

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