I can't do Rey/Poe because they barely have any screen time and no backstory together so I have nothing to work with.
Other than that the age gap bothers me (19 to Poe's 32), just like in Reylo (19 to Ren's 29). I am around her age (actually a couple years older) and the thought of hooking up with a 32yo or a 29yo makes me uncomfortable
Yeah, for some people having two characters not interact on-screen allows them to go wild with their headcanons, for others it makes them too wary to try writing their own version of that interaction because they don't have canon to riff off. Poe and Rey will interact in the next movie, I honestly can't imagine how they'd go another movie without meeting, so people might also be worried about getting Jossed, compared to writing for two characters who might never share screentime.
Whereas with a pairing like Mystrade, canon threw in a bone to support it without ever having them meet onscreen. "I don't just do what your brother tells me."
Age difference doesn't really bother me in fanfic: it's a fantasy, it doesn't have any bearing on what people do in real life. But if we're specifically talking real life, I'm in my early 30s and I wouldn't date someone who was 19 or 23. I'm surprised people cite the age difference as a reason not to ship Poe/Rey but are okay with Poe/Finn. Maybe because it's easier for women to project themselves on to Rey, so it disintigrates that distinction between fantasy and real life?
If you're talking about dating with a significant age gap like that, there's obviously going to be a difference in how the older person and the younger person in that situation view things: there's both their different life experience and them being on opposite sides of any potential power imbalance. (Because power imbalance usually does have a presence in that kind of age gap, especially when one person has only legally been an adult for a few years.)
I think gender probably comes into it, too. Although this is obviously a big generalisation, men do seem to have less qualms about dating somebody significantly younger. Some even deliberately choose to target younger women, because they're easier to manipulate, since they don't have years of experience recognising the signs of a dude being creepy. (And by some, I mean a disturbing amount, because every woman I know has a story of a teenage classmate dating an adult man back when she was at school.)
So I think it's pretty common for women to have experience dating an older man, and then to be uncomfortable later in life when they're the older person and not wanting to date that much younger. For men, it's more likely to be the other way around.
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Re: EXPLAIN HOW....
(Anonymous) 2016-02-02 07:11 am (UTC)(link)Other than that the age gap bothers me (19 to Poe's 32), just like in Reylo (19 to Ren's 29). I am around her age (actually a couple years older) and the thought of hooking up with a 32yo or a 29yo makes me uncomfortable
Re: EXPLAIN HOW....
(Anonymous) 2016-02-02 07:42 am (UTC)(link)Re: EXPLAIN HOW....
(Anonymous) 2016-02-02 07:44 am (UTC)(link)Re: EXPLAIN HOW....
(Anonymous) 2016-02-02 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)Even Finn/Poe makes me uncomfortable for that reason because 23 and 32 is still a huge age gap.
Re: EXPLAIN HOW....
(Anonymous) 2016-02-02 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)Age difference doesn't really bother me in fanfic: it's a fantasy, it doesn't have any bearing on what people do in real life. But if we're specifically talking real life, I'm in my early 30s and I wouldn't date someone who was 19 or 23. I'm surprised people cite the age difference as a reason not to ship Poe/Rey but are okay with Poe/Finn. Maybe because it's easier for women to project themselves on to Rey, so it disintigrates that distinction between fantasy and real life?
Re: EXPLAIN HOW....
(Anonymous) 2016-02-03 03:19 am (UTC)(link)Re: EXPLAIN HOW....
(Anonymous) 2016-02-03 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)If you're talking about dating with a significant age gap like that, there's obviously going to be a difference in how the older person and the younger person in that situation view things: there's both their different life experience and them being on opposite sides of any potential power imbalance. (Because power imbalance usually does have a presence in that kind of age gap, especially when one person has only legally been an adult for a few years.)
I think gender probably comes into it, too. Although this is obviously a big generalisation, men do seem to have less qualms about dating somebody significantly younger. Some even deliberately choose to target younger women, because they're easier to manipulate, since they don't have years of experience recognising the signs of a dude being creepy. (And by some, I mean a disturbing amount, because every woman I know has a story of a teenage classmate dating an adult man back when she was at school.)
So I think it's pretty common for women to have experience dating an older man, and then to be uncomfortable later in life when they're the older person and not wanting to date that much younger. For men, it's more likely to be the other way around.