tfa_kink | DISCUSSION/OFF-TOPIC POST

Nobody said anything about ~serving OP's every whim~. But as a filler, I have almost always gotten replies when asking about a detail or two so wow, it's almost as if your nor my experience with this is a universal fact.

It's a simple courtesy to ask a prompt OP when you want to include potentially questionable material and if you don't get an answer: If in doubt, leave it out. Same as with derailing comments on a prompt, a derailing fill goes against kinkmeme etiquette (while most kinkmemes allow for prompting stuff inspired by other prompts, so that's a great option if you feel inspired by a prompt but want to change it in major ways).

Pretty much. Also it's unfair to think that OPs are constantly checking in every second of the day to see if fillers have questions. I try to check my prompts every here and there and sometimes I have only seen a comment a couple of days after. If you are unsure if the Op will be uncomfortable if their fluff prompt suddenly becomes all about xeno tentacle sex and mpreg, just create your own prompt or don't include it all.

Yeah you are not the OPs servant, but if you are just going to derail and ignore the OPs feelings and do whatever you want regardless, then just write it as your own fanfiction and not a fill to someone else's prompt. That's equally rude in my opinion.

Maybe I'm just old school, but this feels like common decency, there is a reason why most of these more extreme kinks tend to usually come with warnings. They are not for everyone.

Here's a question, though: how do you determine what is potentially questionable material that you should ask about? Look upthread for an example: one anon thinks rimming isn't a particularly big deal; another does. It seems likely that one of them would consider asking about it while the other wouldn't think it needed to be mentioned.

On a kink meme, there is such a wide range of possibilities, that I do think you go into prompting knowing that you are taking a risk that someone might take the fic in a direction you don't want. Should every filler have to list every single thing they are planning for the fic and get the prompter's permission first? That seems a little extreme. If the prompter has definite DNWs, bring them up of course.

If it isn't specifically requested by the prompt, ask.

Some prompts are incredibly vague and open ended... By that standard, you could end up having to ask about an awful lot of stuff.

I think the responsibility lies on both parties, one to state their DNWs and even things they would prefer not reading; one to ask if they are uncertain about something(which realistically speaking isn't going to be 'check every single thing that isn't mentioned in the prompt') and both to be sufficiently grown up about it to realize that not every thing may be presented or received in the way each party would prefer.

That's not to say a prompter shouldn't be squicked if the writer takes a sharp turn off into NO Way in Hell Land, but they should recognize that these things happen. If the writer includes something the prompter specifically said not to, then the prompter should let them know because that is rude.

Okay. Here's a basic generic prompt for two of the requisite hot guys in almost any fandom: A and B meet up at a bar. They get it on.

Following your suggestion, questions the writer might have to ask would include things like:

-how do you feel about /blowjobs/anal/69/hand jobs/frottage/some combination of these?
-A and B are both antagonistic and companionable. Can I go with slightly antagonistic mutual tension release, or did you want a quieter moment of camaraderie and tenderness between them?
-Is A thinking of C while having consensual sex with B? (Since fanon says A loves C)
-Can they have sex in the bathroom/car/alley, etc? Do they go to one of their places instead? Would sneaking a littl mutual grope under the table in the bar be okay?
-Who tops/bottoms???
-Can B tie A's hands in front of him with his tie if he asks A?
-How do you feel about dirty talk?

We've hardly stuck a toe outside of vanilla sex yet, and every bit of this is consensual. But none of this is in the prompt, and some of it could really matter to the prompter. Is the writer really responsible for checking all of this out with the prompter? Where do you draw the line between 'important enough to check' and 'not worth worrying about' when so much of the importance depends on personal preferences?

It's common sense, really. I'd say anything that veers off into "not common sex acts and mild bdsm", like m-preg/Pregnancy in general, a/b/o, toilet stuff, cannibalism/necrophilia, things like that. Sure, it's open to interpretation, but these are some of the kinks I, as a writer, would never put I a fill until otherwise specified.

There is some common sense involved, yes. I would think one would ask about noncon and dubcon, and, as you say, scat, cannabalism and necrophilia. Unfortunately, it is as you say, open to interpretation. What bothers one writer or prompter may not bother another. Unasked for pregnancy wouldn't bother me, unless it made no sense whatsoever with my prompt, and then it wouldn't be the pregnancy that bothered me, it would be trying to figure out the writer's reason for including it. :)

Really, prompters are better off being clear about things they wish to avoid.

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