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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My ultimate weakness is crack Poe/Hux, so this called to me...

---

“And we’ll call it…” Hux gestures grandly with one finger. “We’ll call it the Stardeath!”

“I like it. I like it.” Ren’s casual lean results in him sliding sideways face-first into Hux’s shoulder. He decides he likes it here and starts to fiddle with the stiff collar of Hux’s uniform. “That looks hot.”

“Thanks.” Hux’s head lolls against the back of the couch, eyes squeezed shut against the spinning walls of his quarters. “I look really good in uniform. Or so I’ve been told.”

“No, not that. Well you do, but like I meant you look like you’re hot. In that.” Ren squints into Hux’s face, his own robes long discarded around the room and now he’s down to a tank top and...suspenders? “You should take it off.”

“I guess.” His fumbling fingers couldn’t quite grasp the concept of a hidden zipper and they’re quickly batted away by Ren’s impatient hands, which make short work of stripping Hux down to his own regulation tank top.

Ren stares at the new expanse of pale skin, noting the light dusting of freckles around prominent collarbones. His eyes snap up to hazy green ones. “I’ve never seen your bed before.”

“Oh.” Hux is flushed from half a bottle of Corellian whiskey, heat settled low in his belly. “Would you like me to show you?”

They end up standing in the doorway to the bedroom, Hux gesturing inside to the completely standard regulation bed, the same bed that Ren has in his own quarters.

“Wow.” Ren says. “I need to take a closer look.” Which requires Hux’s involvement apparently, because Ren pushes him further into the room, walking him backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed.

He topples over, the bounce of his mattress causing the room to spin. Ren straddles his hips, already shirtless, a disorienting amount of abs swimming in Hux’s vision. “Shit, you really are shredded.”

“Hear any other rumors about me?”

Hux is confused until Ren grabs his hand and brings it to his crotch. That can’t be real. Did he have his light up sword in there?

Ren laughs. “No. And don’t call it that.”

“Are you in my head?”

“You said that outloud.”

“Oh.” Hux is absentmindedly stroking the tent in Ren’s pants, fingers finding the outline and still not quite believing it. “I think…” He licks his lips, watching Ren through half-lidded eyes. “I need to take a closer look.”

“Yes.” Ren breathes.

---

It’s a quiet day on the bridge, every sensor and alarm in stealth mode or being sent directly to individual headsets. One of the flashing light alerts were forgotten at first and Mitaka had to throw himself bodily on the console to cover it up, hoping the General didn’t catch a glimpse of the offending beam. He didn’t catch it in time.

“Lieutenant.”

Mitaka scurries over to the command chair where Hux is sitting with a dark pair of shades on. He snaps to attention, trying not to breathe too loudly. “Yes, sir?” he whispers.

“I thought I had instructed the bridge to be in stealth mode today.”

“It is, sir, but I’ll make sure to double check every sensor.”

“Fine. But there’s no need to yell.”

Mitaka’s mouth is still hanging open, gaping like a fish out of water as he decides what noise to make that would be the least disruptive to his General’s sensitive state, when Captain Phasma arrives on the bridge, her shiny armour clanking with each step.

“Dear lord.” Hux rasps and Mitaka takes the chance to salute and scamper away.

“General!” Her voice output level must be over 9000. “I’d like to report that mission GH-42 has been a success!”

“Fuck.” Hux has slid halfway out of his seat, imagining the dark pit he’d much rather be in right now.

“Allow me to give you a detailed, play-by-play field report, Sir!”

“That’s not necessary, Captain. Why don’t you put it in a written report as usual.”

“As a fellow warrior of the battlefield, I think you’d appreciate this one, General. So there we were, forty troopers strong!”

“I’ll give you anything you want if you stop.”

Phasma clasps one big metal hand on Hux’s shoulder, nearly causing him to dry heave. “You’ve already given me everything I’ve ever wanted, Sir.” There is a definite smirk in her tone.

As she continues to regale him with her tale of glory, Hux deeply regrets every decision he’s ever made that led up to this point.

Light up sword! Yes! Best description since Hondo's 'that glowy thing, wvoo wvoo!"

And Phasma's voice being over 9000! Priceless.

Oh okay so this is ridiculously perfect. Hux and Ren's drunken hook up was perfect. Hux's hungover "stealth mode" order was perfect. Mitaka tackling that light was perfect. Phasma's trolling was perfect. And there are more parts to come?? I'm so excited!

There are no rumors about Ren, just extremely hard-to-believe FACTS. Several "closer looks" may be necessary, just to confirm.

I am a devoted Phasmastan and I deeply appreciate superior trolling Phasma. Thank you for this gift.

'disorienting amount of abs' OMGGG

This whole thing is just beautiful

PROMPT POST #5 - CLOSED

This post is closed to new prompts!

[FILL] The Hangover (Space Edition) 1/?

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Re: [FILL] The Hangover (Space Edition) 1/?

Re: [FILL] The Hangover (Space Edition) 1/?

Re: [FILL] The Hangover (Space Edition) 1/?