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tfa_kink2016-03-28 08:14 am
themodawakens) wrote in tfa_kink2016-03-28 08:14 am
Entry tags:
PROMPT POST #5 - CLOSED
This post is closed to new prompts!
prompt post one
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Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 1/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)---
Hux scowled as he checked the seat number before sliding into his assigned spot. First Order officers were required to get First Aid certified thanks to someone higher up in in the intergalactic occupational safety and health administration. Even the First Order was not immune unless they wanted to pay some heavy fines, and Kylo Ren seemed to make it his mission to tear through the Finalizer’s slush funds.
At least someone competent ran the class, Hux thought. Mitaka was the field seminar leader and Hux respected the other man. He pulled out his datapad to take notes (because anything worth doing was worth doing properly) while other officers filed in and sat down. The seat next to him was blessedly absent, and Hux turned his attention towards the front of the room.
“Thank you everyone for attending this mandatory class,” Mitaka started with an easy smile on his face. “Your compliance in this matter is noted and appreciated, now if-”
He broke off in surprise when there was a commotion by the door and Kylo Ren exploded into the room like an angry, black tornado. “Sorry I’m late,” he said gruffly. His helmet was off and his face looked flushed as if he had run the entire length of the Finalizer.
“That’s quite all right,” Mitaka said politely. “If you could just take your assigned seat we can begin.”
No, Hux thought when he saw Kylo scan the room with piercing, dark eyes. No, no nonononononono. Hux thought of a litany of curses when Kylo spotted him and then stomped up the stadium steps and carelessly shoved people aside to plop down into the formerly empty spot next to him.
“That isn’t your seat,” he hissed and shot the Knight a glare out of the corner of his eye.
Kylo smirked and dropped his bag beside his feet with a heavy thump. “I can’t help it if we were assigned seats right next to each other.”
“It’s alphabetical order,” Hux snapped in a tight whisper.
There was a short cough and both men turned their heads to see Mitaka politely regarding them. “Now if you open your datapad handbook to chapter one, we will go over first aid principles and responses to settings that require interventions.”
Hux fumed and refused to look at Kylo as he concentrated on the lesson. He could feel Kylo restlessly shuffling next to him and he refused to acknowledge the other man. He was going to finish the lesson. He was going to do the training. And then he was going to beat Kylo’s head in if he didn’t stop leaning over him.
“Cut it out,” Hux muttered while tapping out notes. He tried to move away from Kylo’s arm pressed against his as the man looked over his shoulder.
“I forgot my datapad,” Kylo said and scooted closer so they were once again pressed up against each other.
Hux scooted a little farther on his bench. “Well that sounds like a personal problem.” Mitaka was lecturing on about quick responses to first aid that Hux didn’t want to miss. He ground his teeth together when Kylo moved over.
“Let me look on with you,” Kylo wheedled. His breath smelled like caf and Hux wrinkled his nose.
“No.” He scooted over again and ground his teeth a little harder.
Kylo looked determined as he moved even closer so their full sides pressed together. “Come on Hux.”
“I said no!” he snapped and shoved the Knight out of sheer frustration. Hux gave a bark of surprise when he fell off the edge of the bench with a flailing of arms.
A sigh could be heard from the front of the room. “Is there a problem, General Hux?” Mitaka asked.
“I just forgot my datapad,” Kylo answered before Hux could settle himself in his seat again.
Mitaka looked weary. “I’m sure the General would be more than happy for you to look on with him, Lord Ren.”
Kylo beamed and smugly pressed himself against the General once the redhead was seated. “I hate you so, so much,” Hux growled under his breath while Mitaka continued on with the lesson. “You should have been left in a trash compactor as a child.”
Ren didn’t seem insulted as he sat close, breathing loudly and making unfunny comments whenever Mitaka was distracted. It went on like this for an hour before the lights in the room flickered to 80% power. “Okay, now we’re going to pair off and practice hands on skills,” Mitaka announced. “You will break off into pairs and go over some of the methods we have covered.”
There was the rustling of clothing and things being packed away as people stood up and paired off. The benches lowered with a hydraulic hiss to seamlessly disappear into the ground in order to create more floor space.
Hux sighed and tried to keep a grimace off his face for being partnered with Ren. “Let’s just get this over with,” he said and looked at the list of techniques they would have to perform. The first one was the Heimlich maneuver. “Pretend you’re choking.”
“You pretend you’re choking,” Ren said stubbornly. “I want to be the hero.”
“For the love of – fine!” Hux growled because it was not worth the effort to argue. “Just read off the slides – I assume you know how to read – and follow the instructions.”
Kylo looked monstrously pleased with himself. “Step one,” he read, “determine if the person is truly choking. A choking victim will often have their hands around their throat and a desperate or panicked look on their face.” He looked expectantly at Hux. “Hux, you don’t look like you’re choking.”
Hux sighed and placed his hands around his throat. “Oh no, I’m choking,” he said flatly.
“Choking people can’t talk, Hux.”
The General shot Ren a murderous glare while he mimed choking.
“Step two, immediately reassure the victim that you are going to help them.” Kylo puffed up his chest and sidled closer to Hux. “Don’t worry General, I’ll save you,” he whispered in the redhead’s ear.
He was not going to murder Kylo kriffing Ren. He was not. Hux startled when long arms wrapped around him from behind and pulled him flush against a hard body. “What are you doing?” he tried to squirm out of the hold but Kylo held on tighter.
“Step three, Hux,” the Knight murmured and splayed his large hands across Hux’s abdomen. “Reach around the victim from behind. Make sure to spread your legs in case the victim falls unconscious and you need to quickly stabilize them.”
“It doesn’t say to grope them, you maniac!” Hux slapped Kylo’s hand when the other man tried to slide his hands up under his uniform. “Just do the stupid training right!” Force damn it, that had better be Kylo’s lightsaber in his pocket.
“I’m not groping you, I’m performing the Heimlich.” He made a fist and settled his other hand over it, pressing it firmly against Hux’s stomach and pulling inward and upward. What should have been firm, quick thrusts turned into aggressive hugging that lifted Hux right off the ground.
“Stop groping me!” Hux shouted and squirmed around like an angry cat nearly spitting in fury.
“I’m here to save you!” Kylo tripped backwards and the two of them went down wrestling on the floor like a couple of scrapyard children.
A pair of shiny black boots came into Hux’s line of sight and he looked up from under Ren to see Mitaka sadly staring down at them. He held a clipboard in one hand and a red pen in the other. “I think lesson one is done for the day,” he said and put a huge red X next to Hux and Ren’s names. “As for everyone else, we will continue tomorrow with our partners to learn how to do CPR.”
Hux prayed for death.
Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 1/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-06 12:44 am (UTC)(link)Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 1/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-06 01:17 am (UTC)(link)Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 1/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-06 04:20 am (UTC)(link)*
“Choking people can’t talk, Hux.”
*
“I’m not groping you, I’m performing the Heimlich.”
I feel like there's a lot of deep insight into Kylo Ren's character going on in this crack fic! Not that I noticed, I was too busy laughing my ass off. Mitaka better get used to making red marks next to his bosses names.
An off-hand detail I really liked was when the benches disappeared into the floor, like even the Finalizer multi-purpose rooms are absurdly elite. Just a cool reminder that this is a workplace seminar IN SPACE.
Also, I think you meant "scrappy children" not "scrapyard children" ...though now that I think about it, both are true.
Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 1/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-06 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 2/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-18 12:18 am (UTC)(link)Hux was determined not to let Ren get to him this time. They were once again sitting next to each other while Mitaka discussed the steps for basic adult cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Kylo was sulking next to him and occasionally jabbed a finger at the datapad in front of him. Hux had brought two this time just in case Kylo had “forgotten” his again.
“Now remember,” Mitaka finished up, “the first step is always check for immediate danger before performing CPR. Then you assess if the person is conscious and if they are not, make sure to contact help.” He clapped his hands together and the holoscreen flickered before shutting off. “With that said please get into pairs and practice.”
Hux repressed a sigh as Ren eagerly shoved the datapad into his bag. “I’ll be performing first,” he said firmly and his tone brooked no room for argument. The tables once again slid seamlessly into the floor to make more space for people to lie down. “So get on the floor and pretend to be less of a victim than you already are.”
“Are you this commanding in all aspects of you life, General?” Ren asked and waggled his eyebrows while he got on the floor.
Hux, being the completely mature adult that he was, did not deign to make a comment. He did, however, kick Ren’s arms so they weren’t pillowed behind his head. Honestly, Ren choked enough people to know what an unconscious person looked like. “Step one,” he said evenly and knelt down next to Ren, “check for breathing.” He placed one hand on Ren’s forehead and the other under his chin so he could lean in close and pretend to listen for a breath.
Quick as a flash Ren leaned up and kissed Hux on the cheek. “Oh look, you brought me back to life,” he said with his arms around Hux’s shoulders.
Hux violently shoved the Knight away. “I will kill you,” he said through clenched teeth. “And then Mitaka will give me bonus points for trying to revive a corpse.” He punched Kylo in the gut when it looked like that idiot was about to say something.
“Remember, this is practice,” Mitaka announced as he wove his way through the different pairs with his clipboard in his arms. “You don’t want to actually hurt your partner.”
“Step two,” Hux said sweetly above the sound of Ren’s wheezing, “place the heel of one hand on the victim’s breastbone.” He mirrored the diagram from their studies and interlocked his fingers together.
“Ow!” Ren swore when Hux started the chest compressions. “Weren’t you listening to Mitaka?”
“I’m doing my job,” Hux said and took delight in the quick, forceful chest compressions. “Don’t you want to live so you can continue to serve the Supreme Leader?”
Kylo made a strangled sound and gripped onto Hux’s wrist. “Not if you kill me.” He tried to shove the other man off.
Mitaka coughed above them. “General, I appreciate the enthusiasm but perhaps it’s Lord Ren’s turn to practice CPR.” The red marker hovered above his clipboard.
Hux gave one last forceful press down and thought he heard something snap if the pinched expression on Ren’s face was anything to go by. He suppressed a chuckle before smoothly lying down and straightening his uniform. “Try not to embarrass Lieutenant Mitaka with your poor form.”
Ren grumbled something under his breath but dutifully listed out the steps and followed through with the motions while Mitaka looked on with approval. Ren’s hands were surprisingly gentle as he did the compressions.
“Excellent!” Mitaka praised. “I’m glad the two of you are doing much better today.”
“Don’t you want me to do the resuscitation bit?” Ren asked when it looked like the Lieutenant was about to turn away. One large hand was already cupped under Hux’s chin.
Mitaka looked a little alarmed. “Um, that’s not really necessary for-”
Ren leaned down anyway so his lips were hovering over Hux’s. “Don’t worry Hux, I know what I’m doing,” he purred and pinched the General’s nose shut.
Hux’s eyes widened in outrage when Ren started to kiss him. He made to get up when Ren swung his legs over to straddle him. Cut it out, he projected and swung his fist at Ren’s head to knock some sense into him.
“You need 200CCs of mouth-to-mouth!” Hux’s snapping teeth didn’t seem to deter him as he used the Force to rip open Hux’s uniform shirt.
“That’s not really a part of the training, Lord Ren.” Mitaka looked distressed as he clutched his clipboard to his chest while watching the rapidly devolving situation.
Hux bucked his hips to try and get out from under Kylo. “How dare you ruin my uniform!” he twisted his head to the side and yelled. His hand scrabbled along the floor to grab something, and his fingers closed around the strap of Ren’s bag.
“The patient is delirious. Mitaka, I need the defibrillator!” He nearly toppled over when his heavy bag clipped him in the shoulder.
Hux’s lips were pulled back into a wordless snarl as he shoved his palm against Ren’s face to hold him back. He was going to kill him.
Mitaka looked down at his clipboard and sadly put two red X’s next to the first set.
Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 2/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-18 05:35 am (UTC)(link)I can only imagine the amount of red X's they both got in their Anger Management (Hux: "You're calling me antagonistic?! I WILL KILL YOU") and Sexual Harassment (Ren: "I don't need any tips, thanks") courses.
Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 2/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-18 11:24 am (UTC)(link)STAT!
Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 2/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-18 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)Re: [Fill] Doctor Doctor 2/?
(Anonymous) 2016-04-24 04:34 am (UTC)(link)Bless. This is everything I've ever needed in my life.