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+ All comments except fills should be posted anonymously.
+ All prompts should focus on TFA characters. You can't post OT or PT-only prompts.
+ One prompt per comment please.
+ You can request both kink and non-kink content
+ Crossovers, characters from the other media are allowed, but must relate to the 2015 movie in some way.
+ All prompt comments should begin with a pairing tag (eg Rey/Finn) or Gen for no pairing.
+ Use 'Any' when prompting for any pairing at all (eg Kylo/Any or Any/Any)
+ Anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other." (e.g. Poe/Other)
+ Warn for common triggers, please
+ NO PROMPTS FEATURING CHARACTERS UNDER 18 IN SEXUAL SITUATIONS.
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+ prompts should not exceed ~250 words.
+ also, while this is not really a rule I can enforce, please try to limit yourselves to fewer than 5 prompts per page.
+ reposting prompts is currently not allowed.
+ no prompts based on real life tragic events. e.g: 9/11 au, concentration camp au, etc
+ PLAY NICE

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The next evening a check cleared for Kylo’s interior design project on Mulholland Drive, and Hux took the team out for dinner at SUR.

Lisa Vanderpump, clutching a puffy dog the color of burnt flan, greeted them at the lounge. She kissed Kylo and Hux twice each on the cheek. Hux gave her a businesslike handshake; Kylo slumped his shoulders and pawed at his cheek for lipstick like an absolutely colossal toddler who had been hugged in front of his friends.

“She doesn’t do that for everyone, does she?” asked Rey.

“What do you mean?” said Finn, looking at himself for the fourth or fifth time in his phone camera.

“Your vanity is starting to make it difficult to be your friend,” said Rey. “Are you wearing the suit jacket that agent left behind?”

“It’s Richard James,” said Finn.

“What, the guy?”

“The jacket. The guy’s name was Poe.”

“Was?” Rey leaned in confidentially. “Do you think they really killed him?”

“No. I meant … he’s alive. He left me his card. Poe Dameron.”

“Then why haven’t you tried to return the jacket?”

“It’s Richard James,” said Finn.

“I feel like you just keep saying men’s names,” said Rey. “Hey. Do you know who’s paying for this? I thought we couldn’t afford guacamole.”

At that point, a round of complimentary and identical SUR Gimlets featuring Vanderpump Vodka arrived, and the night began to escalate. They never paid for drinks, but each round arrived with a bottle of Vanderpump Vodka displayed on the tray. Rey wondered, but she didn’t ask.

It took about an hour before Kylo knocked an endive salad onto the floor in the process of reaching for Hux’s hand.

Rey watched the salad fall. She was the only one. Finn kept taking snaps that played with perspective so it looked like he was pinching Thomas Girardi’s head, and Kylo and Hux were exchanging a SUR Gimlet-fueled look that crackled with sexual electricity.

“I know I’m obnoxious sometimes,” said Kylo. He rested his hand on Hux’s bare forearm, thumb on the face of his Shinola.

“You tore a door off the hinge,” said Hux. “Of a property I paid $800,000 for.”

“But the door was like,” Kylo put his fork in the empty space where the salad had been. “I don’t know, $75?”

Hux sighed. “You bought a wig and canceled a tile order using a fake identity.”

“I’m saying -- I know what you put up with,” said Kylo. “And -- look. I’m sorry. About the Matt thing.”

“It’s OK,” said Hux, looking resolutely at the bar. “It’ll be fine. I’m handling it.”

Rey put her elbows on the table and shouted into Finn’s ear: “So I think Hux is the Zodiac killer.”

Then Kylo’s parents showed up.

TBC~~~

She had expected his ass to look different.

I love Rey

“I feel like you just keep saying men’s names,”

I LOVE REY

“So I think Hux is the Zodiac killer.”

I. FUCKIN. LOVE. REY.

And the rest of it, I'm just so happy. The jacket, the PARENTS, the whole Matt thing... I'm just like *that hand gesture where you bring your thumb and fingertips together, kiss the tips, and pretend to throw them in to the air*

thank you so much I've always wanted to earn that hand gesture <3

Oh my god this is so amazing. I love how they included Matt in their kinky sex games and Hux being so casual when Rey walked in on them made me howl with laughter!

thank you so much! I really wanted to give Rey the opportunity to experience Peak Kylux.

lmao! Ah yes, the ol' MAYBE I HAVE A WIG & FLOORING STOREFRONT KINK defense.

OLDEST EXCUSE IN THE BOOK

(thank you!)

i love you i love this

I love you more anon

I love how Kylo "absolutely colossal toddler" Ren can't even reach for Hux's hand without destroying something in the process. Like, something needs to be sacrificed in order for him to make that rueful overture. RIP salad.

the salad is part of a long history of collateral damage they have left in their wake.... including many, many other salads. thank you for reading <3

Requester Anon again and I hope you don’t mind if I continue to drop in and cheer on your efforts. Your beautiful, hilarious efforts. I love that you keep namedropping connections that I have to go google. I love that Kylo and Hux’s ongoing power struggle includes such ridiculous efforts as creating an “intern Matt” to take the blame, Hux managing to get the security footage (hmm, now I’m wondering how he stalked Poe to get the drink order and house temperature), and then they go play punishment. And Hux is multitasking on his phone. What. (Perfect.)

Also there is something surreal and otherworldly about Hux’s relationship with his cat. (““Millicent!” Hux shouted. “Can you give us one minute?” Millicent slipped back out of the door.”) What cat understands and obeys?! Evidently one that can smell conflict and hones in on it…

Loved the smoking scene where ““I won’t kill him…Because at this point I can’t even afford the quicklime.”” Gets space from a fellow Californian, but Hux tossing his cigarette butts in the stream earns him true ire.

I’m starting to wonder at Hux’s actual accounting skills though. If he can’t keep an emergency fund bigger than Kylo’s impulse purchases and impulse destructions… either he’s got expensive habits besides being married to Kylo, the real estate market’s been harder than he anticipated, or maybe he does have a secret investment account in the Cayman Islands…

You left us at a lovely double cliffhanger~

Rey, please provide evidence for Zodiac Killer Hux. (Because if he’s that old he should be able to afford a sugar baby by now, right?) Okay, so it was probably a joke.

Kylo’s parents! I am so excited.

oh my god requester anon you are TOO generous. it makes my day 100% to see your comments <3

Millicent is ...unexplained.

I don't know much about house flipping but I know a fair amount about kylux and i read a lot of fanfic and this is one of THE BEST
I mean all the wine and bitchiness and millicent possibly understanding human speech and hux probably being the zodiac killer and MATT, MATT THE INTERN, AHHHH

I also know nothing about house flipping so THIS IS THE COMMENT FOR ME, anon, thank you so much.

This is so outrageously funny, love it! I hope you post it all on AO3 when it's done.

Thank you! Doing that now!

PROMPT POST #3 - CLOSED

This post is closed to new prompts! Go here

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