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Stormtroopers do get *some* leisure time, to stave off crippling burnout. And they have access to First Order-approved media. Said media tends to portray the New Republic as licentious and corrupt, and the Resistance even more scandalously debauched.

Finn's favourite holo show has heroic First Order officers fighting against a Resistance led by a dominatrix, their "uniforms" more closely resembling outfits at home in a bondage club. They are profligate drug users (sex pollen!), keep tentacle monsters straight out of hentai as pets, and will take any opportunity to try and ~seduce loyal First Order adherants to their side.

On joining the Resistance, Finn can obviously see that the show was exaggerating, but he's still not 100% sure whether everything said to him should be taken at face value, or if it's going to be followed by 70's style bow-chicka-bow-wow porno music as the "meeting" descends into an orgy.

+he's kind of got his fingers crossed tbh
+he's Not OK with missing the most recent season of his show, so Poe badgers the communications team to space-bittorent it
+and is horrified/addicted and watches the whole series from the start
+with the rest of the pilots. Snap makes popcorn.

"You know, I am really glad that none of the X-wing's controls are meant to go up there. It'd be hell to fly with any precision."

"Have you been neglecting your Kegel exercises, Jessica?"

Seconded.

"Does that one pilot with the eyepatch and the obscenely tight pants look sort of familiar to anyone else? Oh look, they captured him... EVERYBODY GET IN HERE! YOU CANNOT MISS THIS!"

Oh my god you are a genius.

Just a heads-up, there's a depiction of a fictional molester menacing a fictional Stormtrooper in the context of a television drama. It's not too graphic and it's more "MUAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK HOW EVIL I AM TO MAKE A POINT" than anything else, but if that bothers you I apologize.

Most of the time, Finn did not miss working for the First Order. The Resistance were much better bosses than he’d ever expected- maybe things still happened in private, but he’d never seen anyone get shot just for asking a question, and General Organa didn’t destroy expensive equipment when she was feeling cranky (unlike someone else he could name…). He actually had friends here, not just squadmates, and he was finally free to act like a normal human being and not just part of a machine.

But there was one thing he missed. The First Order didn’t entirely cut off the troops from any form of entertainment. There were plenty of holodramas produced to keep up troop morale and teach everyone about the inquities of the New Republic, and even worse, the Resistance. And the drama he’d been following closely before he defected had ended on one hell of a cliffhanger that week. The beautiful, pure, innocent, and unwaveringly loyal Stormtrooper UL-5993 had been captured by the loathsome Resistance, and the show had ended with the perverted, leering X-wing pilot who’d captured her and killed the rest of her squad injecting her with some horrifying drug while telling her exactly what he was going to do her body until she spilled secrets of the First Order. Even worse, he’d shoved a ring-gag in her mouth, preventing her from biting her tongue off and choking on her blood- any good Stormtrooper would rather commit suicide than allow themselves to be degraded that way. UL-5993 had struggled mightily, begged the pilot to just shove her out the airlock, tried to kill him with a knife she’d hidden between her breasts, but ultimately she had been subdued. The show had faded to black just as the pilot had cackled like a maniac and told her, “Well, my dear, since you’re not going to tell me, normally I’d just torture you to death, but maybe I’ll have some fun first… you’re rather pretty for a Stormtrooper!”

The episode had been the talk of the base that week.

“They’re not going to show anything,” JB-007 scoffed. “They wouldn’t go that far, it would terrify everyone!”

“I don’t know, man,” FN-2199 had replied. “They’ve shown sex scenes before, and there was that episode with the tentacle monster.”

“But the tentacle monster only attacked Resistance members,” JB-007 argued back. “And they liked it! There’s no way they’ll show poor UL-5993… you know… it would send a bad message. That it’s acceptable to have sex with Resistance members!”

“Don’t be stupid,” Nines had rolled his eyes. “She’s being tortured! And it’s really just to make a point. After all, the First Order treats people like that gross pilot as traitors and executes them. I’ve seen it before! It will really make an impact if just before he does something absolutely unforgivable Captain Rockon charges in and saves her, killing the Resistance guy in the process! It will really show the glory of the First Order!”

Finn hadn’t participated in the argument, although he’d been just as fascinated. Surely, surely the producers wouldn’t go so far? But he couldn’t wait for the next episode.

And then came the raid on Jakku, his decision to defect, and his spiriting away of Poe Dameron. Who, now that he thought of it, bore a truly remarkable resemblance to the villainous Resistance pilot on the holodrama.

Even if he was part of the Resistance now, Finn really wanted to see what happened next on his show. Would UL-5993 escape? Would she bravely endure the predations of the horrifying Resistance pervert? Or would she die in a desperate attempt to prevent being violated? He just had to know the fate of his show’s heroine.

The show wasn’t too hard to find on the datanet. First Order Days was extremely popular among planets and peoples controlled by the organization, after all. There were tons of fan sites dedicated to it, and entire sites devoted to writing fan-created storylines for UL-5993 and the dashingly handsome Captain Rockon. For people outside of the ranks of the Stormtroopers, there seemed to be a huge desire to either see UL-5993 and Captain Rockon end up together, or to see Captain Rockon bed his adorable, slightly roguish second-in-command GD-6822. Although there was a fair amount of people who enjoyed the idea of UL-5993 and GD-6922 having cute babies with mops of sandy hair. Finn was careful to avoid those forums though, they tended to be full of spoilers.

Finally, though, he found the download link. And yes, there were all the episodes he’d missed since defecting! Finn now had several hours of entertainment awaiting him.

But he could never, ever let any of his new friends know about his addiction to the show. The way the Resistance was portrayed was, frankly, ridiculously offensive, and he now knew that there wasn’t a Stormtrooper alive who was as pure and noble as the characters on the show. It would really hurt his new friends to see themselves portrayed as sexually menacing degenerates led by a dirty old woman who kept tentacle monsters as pets and occasionally let them loose on her subordinates- who enjoyed the squirmy slimy sex that the creatures provided.

Of course, the universe hated Finn.

Barely ten seconds into the holovid, Poe Dameron barged into the room, right as the nameless Resistance pilot laughed and began cutting off the poor captured UL-5993. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll be begging me to let you join up with us! I’m going to turn you into my own personal pet, would you like that, little Stormtrooper?” the evil pilot laughed as UL-5993 thrashed about in her bonds, trying to shy away from the knife cutting away everything protecting her modesty.

“Finn? What the hell are you watching?” Poe asked, slightly alarmed at the dialogue coming from the holovid. Finn scrambled to find the remote and pause the video, managing to do so and pausing right as the villainous pilot leaned in to lick away the tears threatening to fall from his captive’s eyes.

Poe was watching the screen with some mixture of fascination and revulsion. “What the hell are you watching?” he reiterated. Then, he got a good look at the guy playing the evil pilot- dark eyes, tanned skin, and a mop of curly dark hair. “Wait a minute, is that supposed to be me?”

“Um…” was all Finn managed to say.

“And what am I doing to that girl!? Seriously Finn, what is this?!”

“Uh… well, it’s a holodrama that the First Order produces. It’s called First Order Days. Everyone watched it, it came on weekly- we had a schedule, we would swap shifts so that everyone got to watch it when it first aired right away,” Finn tried to explain. “It’s about Captain Rockon’s squadron- he’s one of the main characters. There’s his second-in-command, a guy named GD-6922, and this girl- UL-5993. She’s sweet and innocent and cute and loyal to the First Order, and she’s been captured after the evil Resistance pilot killed the rest of her squadron. He would have killed her too, but she took her helmet off to give one of her comrades the oxygen it had after his was ruptured. The pilot saw her, and took her. He tried to get information from her, but she tried to bite her tongue off. And now he’s decided he’s going to get his information another way.” Finn realized with a sinking feeling that his explanation wasn’t helping the situation any.

“By… raping her?”

“Oh no, not at all,” Finn said quickly. “He’ll probably just grope her, menace her, lick her, things like that. He won’t get that far, Captain Rockon or someone will come and save her.”

“Is this really how you guys saw us?” Poe asked, eyeing the still image with some distaste. Finn winced.

Okay, I ended up condensing it a bit. I hope you liked it, OP!

“I mean… kind of? It’s not that we think you all go around menacing innocent cute girls,” he tried to save face. “It’s just… in the show, everyone who’s not part of the First Order is shown as degenerate and, uh, unpleasant. Now that I know it’s not true I can see how stupid it is, but I really wanted to see how the series ended! I didn’t get much free time as a Stormtrooper, and everyone’s kind of attached to the characters.”

Poe gave a sort of huffing sound, then sat down on the couch. “Alright then.”

“Alright then?” Finn repeated.

“Start the show back up, I want to see exactly how inaccurate this is.”

Hesitantly, Finn did, hoping that what he was about to show the other man wouldn’t ruin their friendship. Surely, Poe would think less of him for watching this trash, and even believing it at one point? Pressing play, he grit his teeth and hit the play button. The holodrama started up once more.

“Oh no, no, dearie, don’t cry,” the villainous pilot crooned. “Didn’t I just tell you I wasn’t going to torture you? I’ll make you feel really good. I’ll treat you really well, I’ll give you pretty things to wear while you wait in my quarters for me, and then I’ll come back and blow your mind every time.”

“Wow, this dialogue is really cheesy. And creepy,” Poe remarked.

UL-5993 tried to say something, but she couldn’t form the words due to the ring gag in her mouth. The evil pilot chuckled.

“What’s wrong? Do you want to say something?” He pretended to ponder the suggestion for a while, then chuckled. “Alright, sweetie, I’ll take it out. I’ll want to hear your cute voice, after all.” He undid the clasp holding the gag in place and removed it. UL-5993 gasped.

“Do what you want with me, torture me, kill me when you’re done,” she panted. “I will never betray the First Order! Go ahead and defile me, it won’t make a difference in the end. When Captain Rockon comes for me, he’ll kill you, and I’ll ask him to kill me! I’m taking you down with me, Resistance scum!”

“Big words for a pretty little thing who ended up in this position in the first place,” the pilot sneered. “We’ll see if you’re still talking like that when I’m done with you. You’ll be like a cantina whore, only free for me! And you’ll love every minute of it! Why can’t you see that I’m offering you the chance of a lifetime?”

“Oh come on!” Poe interjected. “I don’t talk like that!”

Onscreen, UL-5993 spat at her captor. “Even a cantina whore has morals, which you Resistance scum seem to lack!”

As if to punctuate her remarks, the door to… wherever they were… flew off its hinges and with a yell of rage, a Stormtrooper in entirely black armor charged in. “Remove your hands from that maiden at once, filth!”

At that, Poe completely lost it. He cracked up. “Really? Who wrote the script for this thing? This is the cheesiest dialogue I’ve ever heard!”

“Nobody knows who’s behind the production team, but there was a rumor that the scripts were written by Kylo Ren and General Hux,” Finn replied. That only made Poe howl even harder. The actual Resistance pilot just couldn’t imagine the leaders of the First Order sitting down to write terrible holodrama scripts. Or maybe he could. Kylo Ren seemed like the type to watch the overly dramatic romances with the damsel in distress.

“Maiden? What maiden? Everyone knows what you do to your Stormtroopers when they come of age,” the evil pilot cackled. “I’m not doing anything to her that she’s not used to!”

“You disgusting knave! We are not animals. I do not know what you do to your younglings, but we do nothing of the kind! We are moral people, dedicated to restoring order across this galaxy!”

“Oh, Captain Rockon!” UL-5993 gasped, eyes shining with happiness. “You’ve saved me!”

“He hasn’t saved you yet!” the pilot laughed. “I’m going to t-“ he never got to finish his sentence. A bolt from Captain Rockon’s blaster silenced him permanently, hitting its mark perfectly between the evil pilot’s eyes.

“Are you hurt, UL-5993?” Captain Rockon asked. UL-5993 shook her head.

“No, sir, I am well. But I must ask of you to kill me. I do not think I can bear to live with the feeling of that Resistance scum’s hands on my body. What use is someone like me to the First Order?”

“You are the most loyal soldier the Order has ever had, UL-5993. You stayed strong in the face of adversity, and you would never give up information. You should be commended, and I will not kill you. In fact, there’s something I need to tell you.”

On the couch, Finn tensed up. No way. Were they really-?

On the holovid, Captain Rockon removed his helmet, revealing a man with chiseled features, impeccably styled black hair, and bright blue eyes. He leaned down next to UL-5993 and said, very quietly, “I love you.”

Finn cheered. It had finally happened! Captain Rockon was finally admitting his feelings for the beautiful Stormtrooper he commanded. Next to him, Poe looked on, rather bemused.

“I take it that’s a good thing?” he asked.

“It’s awesome!” Finn enthused. “Everyone was hoping they would get together!”

“But it is forbidden!” UL-5993 exclaimed. “Fraternization between a captain and a trooper is not allowed! We will be executed!” The captain shook his head.

“No, see here, I have a special dispensation from Kylo Ren! Apparently we are both Force-sensitive and never noticed it before, and he wants us to have children, to create more Force-sensitive soldiers for the glory of the First Order!”

“Take me now, you amazing captain!”

The screen faded to black as Captain Rockon freed UL-5993 from her bonds. She fell into his arms, and he dipped her down for a deep kiss. Then, the credits rolled.

Hesitantly, Finn turned to look at Poe. What was he going to see on the other man’s face? Disgust? Horror? Was he going to tell Finn he never wanted to see him again, now that he knew what kind of holodramas he liked?

However, Poe only looked thoughtful. “Let’s watch the next one!”

“What?”

“I want to see what happens next. Did they really have a dispensation from Kylo Ren? What will happen if they didn’t?”

“You really want to watch more?” Finn asked, stunned. Poe nodded.

“Oh sure, it’s totally ridiculous and I kind of resent being portrayed so creepy, but it’s strangely compelling. Everyone is horrible, of course, and we probably shouldn’t let the others see it, it would offend them, but I want to see if UL-5993 gets pregnant and has Force-sensitive children.”

“Uh… alright,” Finn said, queuing up the next episode. Then, he hesitated. “You know, there’s a lot of other holodramas, too…”

And that is how Poe got addicted to trashy First Order propaganda soap operas. Even if they did always show him as molesting innocent Stormtroopers…

The End

I'm trying so hard not to laugh and wake the neighbours. I hope there'll be more? Maybe the other Resistance pilots finding out about the show and having MST3K style marathons in the rec room?

Haha! You know, I had so much fun with this I might just have to do a second part. I cracked myself up a few times writing Captain Rockon's lines.

I'm so happy you enjoyed it! If I do another part I'll definitely post it here ( also on AO3, I just put this up there).

Thanks for reading!

i laughing hysterically, this is comedy gold!
i am usually not interestd at all in the lightside ot3 (finn, poe, and rey) in this fandom, but his ! holovids!
new order making propaganda!
can you link to the ao3 version?

Certainly!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5959557

I'm really glad you enjoyed it, I had a lot of fun writing it.

Oh man. I too hope there's more to this. I cracked up at the cheesy dialogue. Poor Poe, too. XD

Oh lord, this was hilarious. Now I want to read Finn's fic (you know he wrote some).

This is golden, I'm laughing so hard!

Captain Rockon omg hahaha

No but yes this fill. I love how Finn is like I am trash of this show! And is sure something sketchy might be going on in the resistance. Yeah I am here for this

Yay! I'm glad you're liking it! I had a lot of fun writing it.

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PROMPT POST #3 - CLOSED

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Stormpilot or gen: expectations vs reality

Re: Stormpilot or gen: expectations vs reality

Re: Stormpilot or gen: expectations vs reality

Re: Stormpilot or gen: expectations vs reality

FILL: Propaganda [1/?]

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Re: FILL: Propaganda [1/?]

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