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prompt post one

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+ One prompt per comment please.
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So this video exists (http://superherofeed.tumblr.com/post/136588728596/im-so-done-with-the-internet) and every time I watch it, I see Poe's face with Bucky Barnes's hair and for a split second I think it's Kylo Ren. I want that split second of horror for Finn.

That's it, that's the prompt. For some reason Poe can't cut his hair for a while, it grows out to approximate Kylo Ren length, and Finn starts, like... flinching violently whenever he sees his boyfriend out of the corner of his eye. Terrible emotional repercussions of a bad haircut, take me there.

The angst potential is astronomical (get it?). I second this!

I am writing because this prompt is amazing and I really hope someone else will write this, too.

* * *
Poe snuck into their bedroom well-after Finn had fallen asleep. A silent as a mouse, the pilot kicked off his shoes, peeled off a dirty, sweat-dried shirt and squirmed out of his pants, all while his eyes never stopped staring at the sleeping mass on the bed. His waistband had bit an ashy furrow into his chestnut skin, which hurt in that vague way belatedly discovered wounds do, but the pilot was tired and just tired and too tired to care about anything other than crawling into bed and holding Finn's chest against his back, listening to the younger man breath softly against him.

Once he eagerly removed his underwear, Poe was wearing nothing but his newly grown beard. He'd been gone for two week on some backwater planet -- if it could be called that, considering it made Jakku look like a paradise. But it didn't matter now because he was back home with Finn, his Finn, in their comfortable bed. Together.

Poe slipped into his normal spot and pulled one of Finn's arms around his waist as he settled in. He'd missed this. Missed being together, missed Finn's embrace and firm chest against his back.

Most of all, he'd just missed Finn.

* * *

Finn awakens to an unfamiliar smell.

In his morning haze, his eyes unwilling to open fully and acknowledge consciousness, he groped at the warm body pressed against his own. The former Stormtrooper lets out a pleasurable moan as he recognizes the contours. Poe's back, Finn grins. A new rush of excitement allows his eyelids to defy the mystical force of morning's increased gravity.

But the body pressed against his is not Poe's. The Resistance recruit's heart first stops then speeds up at an incredible rate. All of his movements still -- his blood stops rushing and his mind empties, and for a few moments, Finn has to remind himself to breath. Breath against long, messy dark hair. Hair that Finn knows must be sprawled across a face that is gaunt, with a long nose and a shapely jaw, vicious lips and large empty eyes that stare at you like you're filthy, pathetic, and worthless. Hair that Finn knows he can make himself breath calmly against because he's forced himself to do it many times in the past.

But why here? In his and Poe's bed? In their room? On this base?

That's right, Finn assures himself. He's on the Resistance base. This isn't the Finalizer or Starkiller or the Arkanis Base or the training facilities on Ior IV or. . .or. . .Finn let's out a choked sob, rising without subtly. With little coordination, he stumbles over Poe, kicking the the older man awake in the process, and heads to the 'fresher. He gently closes the door behind him before Poe can fully comprehend the situation.

There is a knock on the door and Poe's voice bubbles through. He's grinning. "Hey, buddy, I'm back,"

Finn is slumped on the other side of the door, knees drawn beneath his chin. He's controlling his breathing like Dr. Kalonia taught him, in. . .out. . .in. . .out. "Welcome back, Poe," he musters before Poe gets too suspicious. Finn drags himself up to the facet and turns the water on before easing himself back to the floor. "How was your trip?"

"Disgusting, I'll tell you all about it after..." Poe is grinning. Oh, Force, he's probably smiling brightly. Finn has to get it together. Has to smile for Poe. "I'll tell you after I make up for two weeks of agonizing Finnlessness."

Finn gets up slowly and turns the water off after splashing his face a few times. He's ready. He's okay. He can open the door. It's still Poe's face. This is just an attack, Dr. Kalonia said it's normal. But Finn's hand is shaking as he grips the doorknob and his mind is playing a dirty trick, warning him that Kylo Ren is waiting for him if he opens it. Go away, Poe. Please. Go away, go away, go aw --

Finn doesn't mean it, of course not. He tell himself that as he grips tightly on the knob with a firm hand and opens the door wide with a deep breath. It's Poe, just Poe. Undeniably Poe. With a new plush beard, uncomfortably long and messy hair, and a smile so wide his face creases where hair isn't covering. "Hey, buddy. Long time no see," he says, leaning in to snake his arms around Finn's waist. He pressed a soft kiss to Finn's lips. "Do you like the new Poe Dameron?"

Finn smiles. Just Poe. He cautiously runs his hands through Poe's hair. Curlier that Ren's hair, a little lighter, too. It's different. "Beard is itchy but hot," Finn replies. He dips into Poe for another kiss, this one harder in his new-found relief. "But the new Poe Dameron stinks. Go shower before that stench permanently sticks to your skin,"

"You don't find my musk to be an aphrodisiac?" Finn vehemently shakes his head with a laugh and a 'no way'. Poe pouts with a restrained grin, "Fine, I'll shower. But only if you join me,"

Yup, it's just Poe. "Of course, Commander."

* * *

Poe shaves his beard that morning but doesn't bother to cut his hair. "I kind of like it long," Finn overhears Poe explain to some other pilot. The attacks only get worse from there. Poe had lost weight, his face thinner, his features more prominent. With his new haircut, he looked like Kylo Ren if Finn wasn't focusing hard enough.

And Finn didn't have the opportunity to focus hard enough because Poe seems to have taken up a new hobby: surprise Finn everywhere he could. The black mess of hair would creep slowly, stealthily, into view and the younger man found his breath hitching before realization set in. I'm on the Resistance base, he's not here, I'm surrounded by friends. . .

His vision was consumed by patchy darkness in the hallway that afternoon. There were hands over his eyes. "Guess who?" was a gruff voice.

A cold fear washed over the young man. That voice sounded like. . .no, it's his mind playing tricks again. I'm on the Resistance base, he's not here, I'm surrounded by friends. . . "P-Poe?" he breathed out shakily, hopefully. Finn chides himself in not sounding more enthusiastic.

Poe slides his hands off his boyfriend's eyes slowly and without a word. He shifts -- just slightly to get in front of Finn -- and out of the corner of his eye, Finn sees the resemblance more clearly than he's ever seen it before. It's not different, it's not different, oh Force, it's not different.

The alarms were blaring in his mind but sense reminded him, reassured him, that he was safe. This was Poe. "Buddy? Finn? Are you okay?" There was concern in every word and in every little line on Poe's face.

Finn hadn't realized he'd shut his eyes until he focused on Poe's voice. He cracked them open to get a glimpse at the pilot's face. His heart ached at the sight. How could he possible think Poe was --- "I'm fine, Poe!" he smiles, a hand reaching to stroke a prickly cheek. "Just got lost in my own thoughts,"

"Finn," the reply was stern. "You sounded. . .scared. . ." The last word trickled out of him like it had punched him in the gut. Like he realized Finn was scared of him.

"I wasn't, really," Finn reassures. He wasn't. He would never be scared of Poe. It was Kylo Ren he was afraid of. . .yet the whole situation triggered something in Finn, something he was sure he'd worked through after he came to the Resistance, something Dr. Kalonia had told him was a by-product of his experience: his need to please.

A tiny voice, long buried but rising from it's grave in the outer reaches of his mind, called out, reminded: Kylo Ren always forgave me if I begged for forgiveness. Finn wanted Poe to forgive him, to stop looking so heartbroken for just one second. "I'm sorry. I knew I should have been more enthusiastic. I'm so sorry, Poe. I'll do better next time, I swe ---"

"Why are you apologizing, buddy?" Poe says, unsure if he should draw the younger man in or back away to give him space. "What's wrong, Finn? Please. I want to help,"

Help. Yes, he's being ridiculous. Poe wants to help Finn, not hurt him. He stares shell-shocked at Poe still. The older man's face is turned to the side, desperately scanning the area for something, his hair covering most of his profile. For a moment, it's not longer Poe who is gripping his arms. It's him.

"Oh, Force," Finn mutters. He finds only one of his weaker voices. "Poe?"

"Buddy?" Poe focuses all of his attention of Finn. His gaze is intense.

"Please, I have to be by myself."

Poe's eyes widen and he finally makes the decision to release the younger man. "Yeah, of course, Finn. Take your time,"

Finn's sure Poe meant to smile through the pain but it probably wouldn't have fit between the surprise and confusion on his face.

* * *

"Finn, it's absolutely normal," Dr. Kalonia says calmly, pouring herself another cup of tea. "It was a traumatic, long-term experience. You can't expect it to just go away even if you engage in a healthy relationship afterward. It's a healing process."

Finn sat across from her at the small table in the her quarters. He nervously played with the hem of the embroidered tablecloth. "But I'm anxious around Poe. He's nothing like him. It's just. . ."

"Yes?" she encourages after a moment.

"It's when I see him from the corner if my eye. . .since he came back, you see. . .he looks like him. Just for a second, then I know it's Poe again."

The doctor hums in thought. "His appearance is triggering some memory of your past experience with. . ." she trails. Could she say it without hurting the young man more than he was? Treat Kylo Ren as a 'he who shall not be named'? As much as she liked to believe he experienced in life have trained her to be an amateur psychologist, she had no formal training. They were short-staffed as it is and she was all the Resistance had in terms of a professional in the field. "Him."

"The hair," Finn whispers.

"Hair?" she repeats, trying to decipher the code. She's never seen the Knight of Ren unmasked, never seen his face. Few have. But Finn has probably seen it in intimate detail, multiple times. It's a face that terrifies him more than the mask. Hair. Kylo Ren must have hair like Poe's now. It probably was what Finn focused on, the only thing he could make out when the knight made him. . .when Finn was being forced to. . .

The doctor finds herself putting her tea cup down slowly. War is rough. She's seen many things, heard bad stories, treated worse things. But the doctor didn't like to admit she had a weak heart. She didn't like the image of Finn, her friend, being sexually assaulted by the knight in her head.

Finn notices her long silence and shifts in his seat. "Poe's hair grew out a lot. And I -- Doctor, he likes it long. I don't want to tell him to cut it, it's not fair. Poe shouldn't have to adjust his whole kriffing life all the time because he has a broken boyfriend!"

"Finn. . ."

Finn stood abruptly, chair legs screeching against the floor. "He's already made so many sacrifices for me! He's always so understanding, he never complains! Now he can't even grow out his hair because I can't kriffing get my act together?"

Finn bites his lip to hold back tears as her looked at the doctor, then at the wall. "Finn, please," the doctor rises also, walking towards the younger man and taking him into her arms. "Poe adores you. He doesn't see them as burdensome sacrifices. I know this because I know he loves you. Just speak with Poe, okay? Remember your the techniques and, Finn?"

"Yes?" The answer was choked.

"It's a hard this for anyone do this, I know. People have died in my arms and all I could think was 'what could I have done? what did I do wrong? why didn't I get here sooner?'" she whispers, just loud enough for Finn to hear. "You have to try to not blame yourself for what happened. We live in a vast universe, interconnected and mysterious in so many ways, it's never just one person's fault. It'll only hurt more if you try to take on the burden of everyone's sins, Finn."

He nods. "I'll try, doctor. I'll. . .I'll talk to Poe, too. Finally tell him."

Love it! Can't wait for the rest.

Finn finds Poe in their room. He's sitting so quietly on the bed that the younger man had thought the room was empty. The pilot's hair is tied back, eyes fixed on a nondescript point of the floor. In his arms, he's loosely holding the jacket he's given to Finn.

"Poe?" Finn says softly from the doorway.

The pilot jumps, roused out of whatever thought he was in. His grip on the jacket tightened in the process. Poe's eyes flickered over to Finn. He's forcing himself to smile. "Hey, buddy. You doing okay? They told me you went to medical but I went to check on you and you weren't there,"

"I went to the doctor's quarters with her to talk," he explains, sitting beside Poe's slumped figure.

"Finn, I -- whatever I did, I'm sorry," Poe says in a rush, "I shouldn't have gone on that mission for two weeks. It was non-essential, anyone could have done it. Kriff, you're upset, aren't you? From the moment I woke up, I sensed something was wrong. You're avoiding me, flinching when I get close, moving away when I lean in to kiss you. . ."

Finn's mouth goes dry. He hadn't noticed any of that other stuff.

"Kriff, Finn," Poe's eyes are wet now. Oh no. "If it's not the mission. . ." Poe stops himself. He doesn't want to say it. Doesn't want it to be true. "Then it's someone else, isn't it?"

"No, no one else," Finn starts rapidly. He wants to reassure Poe, make him smile and feel good. "No one else, Poe. Except. . ."

Poe finally lifts his head to meet Finn's eyes. They're shining with un-fallen tears, brightly even in the terrible artificial light. "Except?"

"Kylo Ren."

"What?" The response was mindless, visceral. Poe collects himself, pupils shaking slightly in horror. "Finn, did he. . .were you. . .kriff!" The exclamation was soft, exasperated, exhausted, and horrified all at once.

Finn sucks in a breath. "You look similar to him. . .from the corner of my eye, only something, quickly, for a flash," Finn sped up when Poe's face twisted in mortification at the admission. "But, Poe, I love you so much. I don't care, I'll work through it. . ."

Poe's look didn't change as he reaches into his pocket. A utility holder emerges. The pilot flips out the small knife and reaches behind his head, gripping the end of his bun. With two cuts, Poe cut it off and threw it on the floor along with the knife in exhaustion. They sat in silence for a moment, looking at where the hair had scattered across the floor. "I didn't cut it because I thought you liked it. When you ran your hands through it you looked so happy. I am such an kriffing idiot, Finn."

"I was happy to see you, Poe."

"I'll kill Kylo Ren," he says after a minute, "With my own hands. No planes, no blasters, no weapons. Nothing but my hands around his throa --"

"Poe," Finn interrupts softly. He runs is hand through the messily cut ends of Poe's hair. "That's not you. You're too kind,"

The darkness in Poe's eyes seems to slowly dissipate. "Thank you, Finn," he leans his head on Finn's shoulder, "But I mean it. If he was here, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. . ."

Silence filled the room, disrupted only by slowly evening breaths.

"I love you, Poe. I'm sorry I didn't say anything before."

"Don't be sorry, buddy. But please," the words were stuck in his throat, "please tell me if. . .if something like this happens. I never want to hurt you, Finn. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. You've given up so much for me."

Finn's eyes widen and he whispers a small denial before Poe cranes his neck to kiss him gently. The pilot smiles, bright and happy and relieved, "That was the first time you've said 'I love you', you know?"

"Was it?" He did. He did love Poe.

"Yeah," another kiss, then suddenly Poe's lips were everywhere. Poe was on top of him. Poe's stubble tickled against his cheek. Poe was whispering in his ear. "I love you, too, Finn."

Poe was different. Poe loved him, cared for him, would never hurt him. And Finn wanted to care for Poe, sacrifice for him, touch him, sleep with him, be with him forever. Poe wasn't like Kylo Ren -- didn't even look like him now that Finn can see clearly, a mist weight lifted from his mind with his confession. Poe was soft even with hard features, his eyes were alive and bright, and most distinctly, Poe was warm, inside and out. How could he even has mistaken them? He should know Kylo Ren could never touch him again. Even if he did manage to capture him again -- if Ren acted on his threat from Takodana -- he wouldn't be the same man. He'd fight. Kylo Ren will not control him ever again.

The pilot laid kisses over Finn's chest, clumsily lifting Finn's shirt underneath his chin. He's whispering against the younger man's skin: beautiful, love you, Finn. Finn's gaze wandered down and, from his angle, the only thing visible was a mess of badly cut hair.

It's Poe. His Poe. Soft, and gentle and kind and loving.

Finn smiled. Everything is okay.

Poor Finn, what he went through

Holy shit holy shit holy shiiiiiiiiiiiit I'm the OP and you made all my wildest dreams come true and more - based on the prompt I made I was expecting something a little cracky, but this pulled absolutely no punches. It's constantly devastating. Hair that Finn knows he can make himself breath calmly against because he's forced himself to do it many times in the past is where I started bawling, knowing that this was happening to Finn long-term and Kylo was demanding that Finn play along, my exact brand of tragedy. The other thing that really messed me up was Kalonia not even knowing who he was talking about at first with the hair, because of course most people WOULD be more scared of the mask, so just... that Finn is so alone in this, Kylo is a bogeyman to half the universe and Finn is still alone in having this kind of fear of him, oh my gosh. Kylo Ren always forgave me if I begged for forgiveness. I'm just... you get across so much about what Finn's been through with just a few details, and it's really good and I'm crying about it. I'm so glad he has Poe now and they're working through it together, Finn deserves Poe whom he loves and who loves him. ;_; ;_; You are a champion for writing this.

Fantastic! Great fill, thoroughly enjoyed it.

Oh wow, had all the fluff and angst I could hope for, my heart hurts for poor Finn and was basically swelling with happiness at the ending!

Oh wow that was deliciously painful and perfect!

I love how you pull no punches. Finn's terror is so stark I could feel it.

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PROMPT POST #2 - CLOSED

This post is closed to new prompts!

Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Re: Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Fill (1/2) - Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Re: Fill (1/2) - Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Fill (2/2) - Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Re: Fill (2/2) - Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Re: Fill (2/2) - Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Re: Fill (2/2) - Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Re: Fill (2/2) - Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon

Re: Fill (2/2) - Finn/Poe, past Kylo Ren/Finn noncon