tfa_kink | PROMPT POST #6- CLOSED

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[[ WARNING FOR EXTREME CRACK ]]

1. The Escape of the Traitor

Hux and Ren made a promise that morning when they found out they swapped bodies. They would stay as true to themselves as well as possible. So far it worked. Hux was surprisingly skilled with a lightsaber, and hiding in the shadows Ren helped him torture Poe Dameron as his force abilites followed him into his body and rendered Hux powerless.

As for Ren, well it was hard to be a general. There was so much chaos involved in it. Making sure his soldiers were in order, overseeing the final preperations of the Starkiller Base. Each time someone talked to him or even said the words "General Hux" his annoyance would grow.

Surprisingly though even though an infamous Skywalker tantrum was boiling inside him, Ren managed to keep himself calm....that was until....he received a piece of news he didn't want to hear.

"One of our Stormtroopers escaped with Poe Dameron."

Something in him snapped. Not having his trusty lightsaber he took out one of Hux's blasters from his pocket, he shot the monitor off the wall with an angered roar.

The whole room went silent staring at their general with wide eyes and mouths agape at their usually composed general.

"GET BACK TO WORK ALL OF YOU! Ren growled before storming off.

Meanwhile in the corner, Hux in Kylo Ren's body furrowed his brow. The man did this on purpose...he had to....so if Ren wanted to play this game so would too.

2. A meeting with Snoke:

"The Ship that was flown out of Jakku, belonged to your father Han Solo."

If Kylo Ren had still in his body he probably would have cried out and screamed. Maybe threw something even though he was trying to impress the surpreme leader.

But he wasn't Kylo Ren was he...he was Armitage Hux.

Instead Hux stood emotionless, maskless, arms folded and with a vapor ciggarette in his hand.

"Lord Ren are you alright? You are about to face one of your biggest tests," Snoke uttered again

Hux only chuckled, as deeply as Ren's voice could go and smiled.

"I am supposed to feel nothing for Han Solo as you molded me into emotionless and spineless being," Hux mumured before taking a puff of his cigarette, "I'll kill him no problem..."

You Idiot! It was Ren communicating with him through the force, you just told Snoke you'll kill my father while smoking in a meeting with him!

So why should you care I'm your body Hux responded back by thinking outloud, You'll still kill technically but I'm going to be the one doing

You are doing this to embarrass me aren't you?

Should have thought of that before embarassing me before Ren.

So this is revenge for my tantrum....okay Nerfhearder you wanna play this game we'll play this game

"Everything alright Ren?" Snoke asked tilting his head.

Hux took another puff of his cigarette as a wicked smile formed on his lips.

"Just...Peachy Surpreme Leader."

3. The Big Speech.

"WE SHALL TAKE OUT THE REPUBLIC IT'S CHERISHED FLEET!!"

Ren had drank lord knows how many bottles of a bubbly drink he had before this speech. One, two, three. He didn't know. He was so close to exploding. But just as looking good to surpreme leader was important to him, looking good for the First order wss important to Hux, he had to hold it in.

What better way to embarrass Hux than by messing up his speech he worked ever so hard on.

This was now it, the crowning moment....

"ALL REMAINING SYSTEMS SHALL BOW TO THE FIRST-"

And then it happened Ren out an enormous burp loud and violent enough to actually blow up one of the planets in the Hosinian system before one of the lazers hit it. At the corner of his eye he could see Mikata trying not to laugh at "General Hux's" blunder. Phasma was shaking her head.

"Excuse me everyone somethings you can't hold down....anyway....fire at will!"

4. A Father's Shock.

"ALRIGHT BIG DEAL WHAT DID SNOKE DO TO HIM," Han Solo roared as he pointed ahead of him.

There was his son Ben. Rey the Scavenger girl he just met and somehow limp in his arms onto his ship. But that wasn't shocking enough to him when it should have been. What was shocking was what Ben was wearing.

He was still wearing his hodded cloak and his mask, Han had seen it once in a chance encounter. But he wasn't his elaborate robes. He instead wearing nothing but boots....and his White Underwear.

"First of all what Kylo Ren is your son?" Finn said with his eyebrows raising, "second he has Rey and you are concerned about...his clothing..."

"LOOK AT HIM HE LOOKS RIDICULOUS!"

Finn just glared at Han for a moment.

"I don't know about you Solo....but ridiculous outfit or not I am saving Rey."

Finn raised his lightsaber in the air and ran after Kylo Ren before he flew away with way. Han only furrowed his brow and mumbled:

"I'm going to murder Snoke."

5. The Interrogation:

Rey found herself staring at Kylo Ren....well a now fully dressed Kylo Ren without his mask on. He was surpsingly very young and human like she had no idea how a man like him could commit so many atrocities.

Hux, still inside the body of Kylo Ren, decided to use this to his advantage, as another way to embarrass Ren. A sly smile graced his features.

"I am flattered you like me girl," Hux said leaning in real close to Rey, "but I am gay...me and my General...we have an exclusive and wild relationship."

At the corner of his eye he watched Ren poked his head out in the door. A smile that Hux never even showed to his fellow members of the First Order Grazed his lips.

"You should tell her how I beg you to tie me up," Ren said in a frighteningly cheery [despite it was Hux's] voice, "and spank me, cause no would expect an alpha male like me is a total bottom."

Hux was a man who would always keep his cool. But that put him on his last nerve. However, being in Ren's body put him at an advantage....pulling a tantrum can let him get away with it.

He lifted Ren's lightsaber from his belt and brought it to life and with a roar chased a giggling Kylo Ren out of the room.

Rey meanwhile blinked and rested her head against the chair she was bound to. There was clearly something wrong with those two.

6. The "Big" Encounter on the Bridge.

"Ben...come home."

This was supposed to Kylo Ren's shinning moment. He was supposed to drive a lightsaber through Han Solo...his father into his body and prove his worth to the dark side once and for all. But Kylo Ren wasn't in control of his body was he...

Hux was.

And he was about to end this little war between them.

He could see Ren standing behind Han Solo, watching with impatient look. Communicating to him to stab the fucker already. When Hux took out the lightsaber a smile grazed Ren's lips. But the blow never came.

Years of crying out for attention before becoming the quote unquote "robot" that he was worked to his advantage. He dropped Ren's lightsaber to the metalic ground below him and started sobbing.

"OH DADDY I AM SO SORRY!" Hux cried as leaped into his father's arms, "I didn't mean to make you and mommy upset I'll come home."

"Oh Ben of course we forgive you," Han responded as Hux felt the old man pull him closer, "you're our son and we love you no matter what."

Hux leaned his head against Han's shoulder and stared directly at Ren. He was seething and shaking in anger. Technically Hux was staring at himself but he could almost picture Ren in his place. A smile formed on Hux's face as he continued to fake sob. It was a silent way of telling him "he won".

But Ren had one more trick up his sleeve.

You drag me down Ren communicated to Hux You're comming with me

"YOU KNOW WHAT...FUCK THIS," Ren roared. He reached for the patch of Hux's uniform and ripped it off. Hux watched in horror as Han turned his head to look at the stranger. "FUCK THE FIRST ORDER...AND SNOKE IF YOU ARE WATCHING THIS," Ren raised both his middle fingers in the air, "FUCK YOU!"

"YOU SON OF A TUSKIN RAIDER!" Hux cried out as he stepped back from Han, "I'LL KILL YOU!"

Han watched in confusion as "his son" went into a running leap and knocked the red head to the ground. He tilted his head as the two men wrestled and clawed at each other, rolling one over the other. They screamed obsenties and threats of revenge

"Chewie...it looks like we're bringing two more passengers aboard the Falcon with us."

Meanwhile up on a high balcony Finn and Rey were watching this from a high balcony. Rey turned her head to Finn with wide eyes.

"Are they always like this?" Rey asked

Finn sighed and nodded his head, with a deep breath he said:

"Oh Rey...you have no idea."

The mental image alone of 6'3" worth of muscled Ren carried by his dad (no doubt trying not to buckle under the mass) made me laugh out loud. Great job!

LMAO
The best fix-it fic ever!

Ha ha! This is great! :)

PROMPT POST #6- CLOSED

FILL: 6 Ridiculous Scenarios That Changed TFA thanks to Bodyswap

Re: FILL: 6 Ridiculous Scenarios That Changed TFA thanks to Bodyswap

Re: FILL: 6 Ridiculous Scenarios That Changed TFA thanks to Bodyswap

Re: FILL: 6 Ridiculous Scenarios That Changed TFA thanks to Bodyswap