tfa_kink | PROMPT POST #6- CLOSED

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

General Hux, despite popular propaganda indicating otherwise, is not an idiot. He knows that what he's doing is wrong. He knows that he is /personally/ responsible for the deaths of billions of sentients. He knows that his men despise him, his few 'friends' are bootlicking cowards who would betray him without a second thought, and that every lover he's ever had slept with him either to advance their own career or because it gave them a power-trip to have sex with /the/ Commandant Hux's son.

Hux has tried to commit suicide several times throughout his career. Each unsuccessful attempt only resulted in extensive reconditioning.

Kylo Ren accidentally stumbles across this information.

:( +1

Oh, the painfully familiar feels. :( I hope this gets filled. I know it's weird, but I love seeing characters I adore struggle with the same issues I do/have.

*forlornly seconds*

Please please please.

Hux is just the type.

I'm working on this but figured I should ask- do you want Hux to get better or is a twisted happy ending (with no actual death) okay?

OP: ...personally, I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

It doesn't get better when they get together. Kylo never thought it would. As much as he'd like to take it all away, he can't change the past.

Even if he could, he doubts Hux would let him. He hadn't let Kylo heal the evidence of each attempt (the two deep nicks to his inner thighs, his wrists, the scar on his temple - he could go on-) and he certainly doesn't like Kylo rummaging around in his head.

(Feels like you're shuffling things and refiling them all wrong he'd said with a angered wince the one time Kylo had tried, gaze suddenly mistrustful, and that was the last thing Kylo wanted, so he'd made that the first and last time and gone to sleep on the couch.)

So Kylo compromises by picking off each and every doctor that signed Hux over for each of his (four) reconditionings. Well. Three of them - one had already died, which was a shame.

When he'd told Hux about what he'd done, he'd regarded him, head tilted almost curiously. Then he'd given one sharp, quick nod and turned back to the small pile of paperwork by his elbow. Hux may be cagey about the whole deal, but he's not above a bit of good, old-fashioned vengeance. Especially if he doesn't even have to dirty his own hands.

That isn't to say he doesn't still have spikes of the feeling, the yearning to die, come back. It's like the inside of my head is trying to consume itself he'd murmured in his most recent episode, monotonous and curled small against Kylo's chest. The acrid feeling of it was coming off him in waves, like it wasn't just repelling Hux, it wanted to repell Kylo too.

Which had just made Kylo even more stubborn in his want to stay, to help the best he could, the best he was allowed to.

Hux had tried to explain it once. How it never really went away, and how it still surprised him sometimes with the ferocity of it's plummets back to rock bottom, but having Kylo here - well, he was rather like a crash barrier of sorts. How, come the inevitable smash, climbing out of the wreckage was marginally easier. Self care was fractionally less of a hassle. Not having to worry about walking from the bed to the kitchenette in his quarters to make soup sounded like such a minor thing, but when even laying in bed exhausted him, Kylo fetching his supper to him was massive.

Then, when it wanes, it feels like waking up with the most huge of hangovers. Everything has to be slow and quiet for a while. An incremental procession of taking on more tasks until he's back up to speed. Not back to normal, never normal, but much more himself.

Kylo gets it, but he doesn't understand the feelings themselves. Maybe he shall never. However, even if Hux didn't thank him (late at night, hand softly resting atop his own, appreciations murmured into the side of his neck) it'd still be worth it. It just is, each and every time. They're too tightly bound to each other by this point for it to drive them apart, and neither of them would have it any other way anyway.

A/N: okay so this probably isn't what you wanted, but i thought i'd have a crack anyway. i relate to this prompt so deeply that it almost hurts. so yea, have these idiots being idiots in love, just with a side order of ill mental health. hope you enjoy! ♥

This is wonderful, and sweet in its own way. Speaking as someone who has dealt with these issues for a long, long time - thank you for writing this, and doing it in such a sensitive way.

this means such a lot, thank you. i was so nervous about posting! i also suffer from poor mental health [bipolar], so i'm pleased you found it sensitively handled!

Yes, as a fellow sufferer I agree with the above comments. Very sensitively done, and also pretty accurate IMO. <3

thank you <3 also woo, fellow sufferer! *high fives*

PROMPT POST #6- CLOSED

Kylo/Hux: Hux is suicidal.

Re: Kylo/Hux: Hux is suicidal.

Re: Kylo/Hux: Hux is suicidal.

Re: Kylo/Hux: Hux is suicidal.

Re: Kylo/Hux: Hux is suicidal.

Re: Kylo/Hux: Hux is suicidal.

Re: Kylo/Hux: Hux is suicidal.

fill: wreckage

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Re: fill: wreckage

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Re: fill: wreckage