themodawakens ([personal profile] themodawakens) wrote in [community profile] tfa_kink2016-03-28 08:14 am
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PROMPT POST #5 - CLOSED

This post is closed to new prompts!



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+ All comments except fills should be posted anonymously.
+ All prompts should focus on TFA characters. You can't post OT or PT-only prompts.
+ One prompt per comment please.
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+ Crossovers, characters from the other media are allowed, but must relate to the 2015 movie in some way.
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+ Warn for common triggers, please
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+ reposting prompts is currently not allowed.
+ no prompts based on real life tragic events. e.g: 9/11 au, concentration camp au, etc
+ PLAY NICE

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 08:08 am (UTC)(link)
OMG the darkside boys are literally flatworms!

He couldn’t wait to have hundreds of them to educate in the dark side. The First Order would be unstoppable.

Yes Grandpa Snoke, yes!

**

Finn stared at the contingent of young Force users, and thought this must be the stuff of what nightmares were made of.

In front of him and Rey, a group of dark-clad and surly looking teenagers brandished their light sabers. In their features Finn could see the red hair and acid sneer of General Starkiller. And Rey could see here and there a ridiculous nose, a pair of oversized ears, long gangly limbs, hints at chest and shoulders that might one day be broad and wide, and unfairly flowing perfect hair.

“What is this?” Finn whispered. Could this be a manifestation of the Dark side of the Force? Did the Force even work like that?

**

Elsewhere Snoke steeped his fingers together and smiled. Ah so many lovely grandchildren. While he didn’t exactly get hundreds of them, General Hux and Kylo Ren really did come through. While there was an unfortunate lack of penis fencing, and the legendary breeding swamp was too mystical to be located, the First Order’s genetics program was the second best thing.

**

Lieutenant Mitaka stared at the mess that was the nursery and despaired. Why couldn’t the mixed clones be more like General Hux? Perfect, punctilious, exemplar and beautiful General Hux?

Another Death Star model soared across the room and shattered against the wall.

**

“Now Brendol Sheev III, what happens if you capture an enemy, and he prostrates himself before you, begging for mercy?” said General Hux to his mini splitting image.

“I would say, I pardon thee! And then I would absorb all of his forces into my army!” The vicious little ginger smiled up at his father.

“Then what happens if a friend betrays you, and he begs you for mercy?”

The kid mimed the slitting of a throat with a chubby finger.

Kylo Ren rolled his eyes from his seat on the common room couch, and scooped up another spoonful of pureed space carrot. Matt Jr was going to eat his carrots whether he liked it or not, even if Kylo had to Force feed him.

**

The Supreme Leader was wise. His will must be obeyed.

And the Master of the Knights of Ren and the First General of the First Order would do anything to get out of penis fencing (Hux shuddered at the biological impossibility, as well as the mere thought of having to come into contact with Ren’s well, body fluids. Disgusting. Kylo checked down his trousers again, and confirmed that yes, he did not have pinchers. Maybe he was defective? Maybe he was a disappointment and a freak in this like he was in all things?). Thank the spirits of Vader and Tarkin that the children of the surviving Imperial Medical Corps made a very robust First Order Medical R&D department.

**

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 08:35 am (UTC)(link)
OMG THERE'S MORE

Pureed space carrots?! Kylo you are stressing Matt Jr. out! It's bad enough his first word is gonna be "SHREDDED", and I hope Hux has conquered enough planets to give one to each of his awful tyrannical heirs because if not, the succession battle over the Finalizer will be bloody and merciless. Sleep with one eye open, Rhombus Father dear~

Also that group of teenaged Hux-Ren's could be the most evil boyband ever. RUN AWAY FINN, THEY ALL WANT TO FINISH WHAT THEIR OTHER RHOMBUS DAD STARTED

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 08:39 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my god @ Kylo feeding kids carrots and then, oh no, but appallingly in character, "Maybe he was defective?" as we realize Kylo's formal education stopped at around age 10 before being sucked into 2 cults and this Talk might actually have been THE talk.

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 08:47 am (UTC)(link)
CRYING @ Kylo automatically assuming he is the rhombus and that he's somehow managed to fuck this alien gender role up somehow

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 11:02 am (UTC)(link)
OMG!

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
OP of the first story. Happy to see others add on to it and I love the vicious little children. Haha. <3

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah sorry OP I just had to write this when I read to hundreds of little grandchildren ripe for corruption.

Your story brought more than just a smile to my face. Also penis-fencing lol! Now I imagine both Kylo and Hux as handsome flatworms.

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Totally fine! If there was a bonus chapter then that would be it!

Now I...kind of want to do a children fic with a meddling Snoke, a confused Kylo, and a long suffering Hux.

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-05 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Please do!

Kid: Dad, can we not go visit grandpa? He's weird.

Re: [Fill] WHOOPS I DID IT

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
It's over at A03 as part of a series: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6483472/chapters/14839696

Look what you have done to me. I have other Kylux stories to write and then this one popped up.

Re: [Fill] WHOOPS I DID IT

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
ahh, those three little words guaranteed to make any man weep

"BEHOLD, YOUR CHILDREN"

Re: [Fill] WHOOPS I DID IT

(Anonymous) 2016-04-08 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
The mysterious ways of the breeding swamp are mysterious indeed and not everyone is up to performing the penis fencing ritual.

oh lordy yes! My sides.

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-07 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
kylo is an absolute fucking failure of a human being

good shit op

Re: [Fill] Snoke's Completely Accurate Guide to Doing the Do

(Anonymous) 2016-04-13 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
BRB, crying.