Kylo and Hux lived in a five bedroom, four bath Mediterranean in Outpost Estates. It was a property they both hated, but it had been re-listed twice and languished for five months at an $800,000 general discount, so it was beginning to feel like home.
“You know what people say about this place,” said Finn, stopping by the office to check his to-do list. Kylo looked up from his drafting table, and almost smacked his skull against Hux’s chin.
“If you didn’t stick your face in my work,” said Kylo, “we’d have to take fewer trips to the E.R. to have your tongue surgically reattached.”
“If I didn’t keep an eye on your progress, you’d never get anything done,” said Hux. “It’s a retaining wall, not the Duomo.”
“And if you’d been around pedaling the mundane gospel of the bottom line in the fifteenth century, maybe we wouldn’t have that particular artistic precedent to squeeze a couple hundred thousand dollars out of plaster in Beverly Hills.”
“Well then, Arnolfo di Cambio, you’ve got about forty-five seconds to decide if you want flowers or succulents in your masterpiece.”
Finn cleared his throat. “So like I was saying, you know what people say about this place?”
Kylo gripped his pencil in his fist. “Succulents.”
“Good choice,” said Hux. “There’s a drought. Finn, is there something you’d like to say instead of taking the leaf blower up to the roof?”
“Yeah,” said Finn. “So. I was reading about this place on Curbed--”
“Your first mistake,” Kylo muttered.
“And they were listing all the celebrities who’ve sent buyers here -- Taylor Kitsch, Brandi Glanville, Brandon Routh, Camilla Belle -- it’s like everybody in Hollywood whose expectations ended up disappointed. Curbed says brokers have started calling it Starkiller.”
Hux tapped his chin. “Not that I care what Curbed says, but I think there’s something to that. Taunting superstition appeals to the self-made sort of ... thing.”
“We need to have the house saged again,” said Kylo. “I don’t care about Curbed either, but, you know, just in case."
Hux sighed. “Finn, clean the gutters. Then schedule someone to come sage.”
Fill: House Flippers AU [5/?]
“You know what people say about this place,” said Finn, stopping by the office to check his to-do list. Kylo looked up from his drafting table, and almost smacked his skull against Hux’s chin.
“If you didn’t stick your face in my work,” said Kylo, “we’d have to take fewer trips to the E.R. to have your tongue surgically reattached.”
“If I didn’t keep an eye on your progress, you’d never get anything done,” said Hux. “It’s a retaining wall, not the Duomo.”
“And if you’d been around pedaling the mundane gospel of the bottom line in the fifteenth century, maybe we wouldn’t have that particular artistic precedent to squeeze a couple hundred thousand dollars out of plaster in Beverly Hills.”
“Well then, Arnolfo di Cambio, you’ve got about forty-five seconds to decide if you want flowers or succulents in your masterpiece.”
Finn cleared his throat. “So like I was saying, you know what people say about this place?”
Kylo gripped his pencil in his fist. “Succulents.”
“Good choice,” said Hux. “There’s a drought. Finn, is there something you’d like to say instead of taking the leaf blower up to the roof?”
“Yeah,” said Finn. “So. I was reading about this place on Curbed--”
“Your first mistake,” Kylo muttered.
“And they were listing all the celebrities who’ve sent buyers here -- Taylor Kitsch, Brandi Glanville, Brandon Routh, Camilla Belle -- it’s like everybody in Hollywood whose expectations ended up disappointed. Curbed says brokers have started calling it Starkiller.”
Hux tapped his chin. “Not that I care what Curbed says, but I think there’s something to that. Taunting superstition appeals to the self-made sort of ... thing.”
“We need to have the house saged again,” said Kylo. “I don’t care about Curbed either, but, you know, just in case."
Hux sighed. “Finn, clean the gutters. Then schedule someone to come sage.”