"Did-" Kylo starts, and he hates his voice for trembling. "Did I do something?"
He's in Hux's quarters, watching as he stalks around the kitchen, turns his caf machine on, then turns back to Kylo. There's a crease of annoyance between his brows and his arms are folded over his chest.
"Technically, Ren, you are always doing something. Usually futilely."
The machine rumbles away, filling the silence that stretches.
Kylo gulps. He glances around nervously and his eyes catch on something familiar in the trashcan at the foot of the bed. The clothes he'd left here. The tee and slouchy trousers he sleeps in. Something isn't right.
"I never meant to upset you, to make you--cold. To make you cold to me."
He means it, too. When Kylo had looked at him through the lens the force before he'd been a warmer sort of energy. A warmer colour, a deep red, burning brighter when their lips met. Now he can't get a reading on him at all, even when he tries so hard his temples throb. There's nothing.
He has to hold his breath just to stop himself hyperventilating just from how instinctively wrong it feels.
Hux snorts at he pours himself a mug of caf. He takes it black, but Kylo knew that already.
"Ren, you speak as though I was ever warm to you."
"Stop! Stop it calling me that, you don't-you call me-"
"I've never called you anything else." he sniffs.
"No!" Kylo shouts, and the cafetiere Hux had just poured from shatters.
He doesn't flinch.
"That's the second time you've done that." he mutters, and makes no move to fix it.
"We we're- we had- we we're together." he whimpers, and doesn't mean it to come out so pathetic.
If this is some kind of game, he doesn't like it.
He wants out, wants it to stop.
Because Hux. Just- he's laughing.
It isn't stopping, it's getting worse.
"Together? As in-?" he splutters, smirking.
[Kylo remembers how that smirk felt pressed against his own mouth, how Hux had bitten his mouth sore and said he was going to give him the world, whole planets, that's how unstoppable they'd be. Together.]
Kylo lets himself slide down the wall. This isn't funny.
"You must remember something." he murmurs, and he gestures to his clothes, discarded in the trash.
Hux's nose wrinkles.
"Those are yours?" he asks, and any laughter has dried up completely. "What the fuck are they doing here?"
"I slept here." he whispers back.
"What?"
"I slept here." he says, louder, and his voice breaks.
Hux slams his mug down and stalks towards him. He hauls him up by the back of his cloak.
Kylo feels so numb.
"Listen to me" Hux spits, and Kylo does. He can't meet his gaze, though. "Whatever sick little joke this is" [Kylo feels his eyes sting and fill up] "You need to stop. You've had your fun, and now it's getting ridiculous. You have never, and will never, sleep here, and now you're going to leave."
His chest aches.
"I wouldn't lie to you." he whispers, and it's like he can't stop his mouth, any sense of self-preservation gone - "You loved me."
Hux backhands him.
"Pull yourself together!" he snarls, and Kylo grabs his wrist, presses fingers to his temple, and shows him.
Shows him the image of himself kissing the scar that now bisects Kylo's face, of them curled together the first night of sleep they'd gotten after the final battle, the last kiss they'd shared - Hux cupping his jaw and licking into his mouth, sweet and slow and-
Hux shudders in disgust and wrenches himself away.
"You're deluded." he says, voice low and lethal, and Kylo feels it as keenly as any blade. "And I want you to get out of my sight."
Kylo's cheeks are wet anew. Somehow, he hauls himself to his feet and walks a few doors down to his own quarters unmasked. He tries to think of what happened, possible causes, theories, anything, but it's all too much.
[FILL]: discontinuity
He's in Hux's quarters, watching as he stalks around the kitchen, turns his caf machine on, then turns back to Kylo. There's a crease of annoyance between his brows and his arms are folded over his chest.
"Technically, Ren, you are always doing something. Usually futilely."
The machine rumbles away, filling the silence that stretches.
Kylo gulps. He glances around nervously and his eyes catch on something familiar in the trashcan at the foot of the bed. The clothes he'd left here. The tee and slouchy trousers he sleeps in. Something isn't right.
"I never meant to upset you, to make you--cold. To make you cold to me."
He means it, too. When Kylo had looked at him through the lens the force before he'd been a warmer sort of energy. A warmer colour, a deep red, burning brighter when their lips met. Now he can't get a reading on him at all, even when he tries so hard his temples throb. There's nothing.
He has to hold his breath just to stop himself hyperventilating just from how instinctively wrong it feels.
Hux snorts at he pours himself a mug of caf. He takes it black, but Kylo knew that already.
"Ren, you speak as though I was ever warm to you."
"Stop! Stop it calling me that, you don't-you call me-"
"I've never called you anything else." he sniffs.
"No!" Kylo shouts, and the cafetiere Hux had just poured from shatters.
He doesn't flinch.
"That's the second time you've done that." he mutters, and makes no move to fix it.
"We we're- we had- we we're together." he whimpers, and doesn't mean it to come out so pathetic.
If this is some kind of game, he doesn't like it.
He wants out, wants it to stop.
Because Hux. Just- he's laughing.
It isn't stopping, it's getting worse.
"Together? As in-?" he splutters, smirking.
[Kylo remembers how that smirk felt pressed against his own mouth, how Hux had bitten his mouth sore and said he was going to give him the world, whole planets, that's how unstoppable they'd be. Together.]
Kylo lets himself slide down the wall. This isn't funny.
"You must remember something." he murmurs, and he gestures to his clothes, discarded in the trash.
Hux's nose wrinkles.
"Those are yours?" he asks, and any laughter has dried up completely. "What the fuck are they doing here?"
"I slept here." he whispers back.
"What?"
"I slept here." he says, louder, and his voice breaks.
Hux slams his mug down and stalks towards him. He hauls him up by the back of his cloak.
Kylo feels so numb.
"Listen to me" Hux spits, and Kylo does. He can't meet his gaze, though. "Whatever sick little joke this is" [Kylo feels his eyes sting and fill up] "You need to stop. You've had your fun, and now it's getting ridiculous. You have never, and will never, sleep here, and now you're going to leave."
His chest aches.
"I wouldn't lie to you." he whispers, and it's like he can't stop his mouth, any sense of self-preservation gone - "You loved me."
Hux backhands him.
"Pull yourself together!" he snarls, and Kylo grabs his wrist, presses fingers to his temple, and shows him.
Shows him the image of himself kissing the scar that now bisects Kylo's face, of them curled together the first night of sleep they'd gotten after the final battle, the last kiss they'd shared - Hux cupping his jaw and licking into his mouth, sweet and slow and-
Hux shudders in disgust and wrenches himself away.
"You're deluded." he says, voice low and lethal, and Kylo feels it as keenly as any blade. "And I want you to get out of my sight."
Kylo's cheeks are wet anew. Somehow, he hauls himself to his feet and walks a few doors down to his own quarters unmasked. He tries to think of what happened, possible causes, theories, anything, but it's all too much.
He's never been good at picking his battles.