"I should be at peace but I'm not. You haunt me," he admitted.
Rey reached out by her side and felt a strange, warm pressure against her hand. Ben lay next to her and if she turned her head she could see his outline. He was there and she could feel him. It was more than she could've hoped for. The grief and guilt had taken her by surprise. The death of Han and Finn's injuries and her lust to avenge them had made drawing blood seem simple, made his death seem desirable. It would make her powerful, a strange voice had said. And then he'd fallen and she'd felt the Force cry out and something had changed. She was charged and ripped apart like the wounds she had inflicted on his body. Maybe this was how he'd felt in life. She'd hoped that now he was at peace since she could no longer feel the same way.
"Please—"
"It's not what you think. I'm not tormented like before. I understand who I am."
"And who are you?"
"I am yours."
Tears fell too easily these days. She closed her eyes and felt his presence brush against her face.
"I miss my flesh," he whispered. "I am weak even in this realm, envious and bitter."
"I am weaker," she said. "I am sorry."
"I forgive you." She felt a pressure against her chest, her breasts aching in response. The sensation moved lower. Her thighs squeezed together as heat and tension built up. "I forgive myself. Will you touch yourself for me?" Her hand responded. "Let me feel what you feel." Pleasure rippled out from her core to her skin. She felt molten and weightless. "Do you think of me like this?"
"Yes," she said.
"I know you. Do not fear the darkness or the light. I am here in the spaces where they meet. I am always with you."
"Yes," she said. Yes. Please do not leave me. Do not go. I need you. I'm scared and something calls and I feel myself falling. Will you catch me, please? Will you hold me? Please don't go; don't leave me—
"Ben!"
Rey woke up. Another nightmare. Or maybe a beautiful dream. She no longer knew the difference, could no longer tell when she was awake or asleep. She could not confide in Master Skywalker. He might send her away. She would be cast out, a failure, when she had failed so much already.
I can help you.
That voice again.
Don't be afraid, child. The Jedi does not know your plight. Does not see your conflict. But I understand.
All this pain, she thought. Did he feel it too? How could he live like this?
I can take it and turn you into something stronger.
Yes, she thought. Show me. She reached out through the Force. Whoever you are, if you can hear me, help me please.
Fill: After Life (2/?)
Rey reached out by her side and felt a strange, warm pressure against her hand. Ben lay next to her and if she turned her head she could see his outline. He was there and she could feel him. It was more than she could've hoped for. The grief and guilt had taken her by surprise. The death of Han and Finn's injuries and her lust to avenge them had made drawing blood seem simple, made his death seem desirable. It would make her powerful, a strange voice had said. And then he'd fallen and she'd felt the Force cry out and something had changed. She was charged and ripped apart like the wounds she had inflicted on his body. Maybe this was how he'd felt in life. She'd hoped that now he was at peace since she could no longer feel the same way.
"Please—"
"It's not what you think. I'm not tormented like before. I understand who I am."
"And who are you?"
"I am yours."
Tears fell too easily these days. She closed her eyes and felt his presence brush against her face.
"I miss my flesh," he whispered. "I am weak even in this realm, envious and bitter."
"I am weaker," she said. "I am sorry."
"I forgive you." She felt a pressure against her chest, her breasts aching in response. The sensation moved lower. Her thighs squeezed together as heat and tension built up. "I forgive myself. Will you touch yourself for me?" Her hand responded. "Let me feel what you feel." Pleasure rippled out from her core to her skin. She felt molten and weightless. "Do you think of me like this?"
"Yes," she said.
"I know you. Do not fear the darkness or the light. I am here in the spaces where they meet. I am always with you."
"Yes," she said. Yes. Please do not leave me. Do not go. I need you. I'm scared and something calls and I feel myself falling. Will you catch me, please? Will you hold me? Please don't go; don't leave me—
"Ben!"
Rey woke up. Another nightmare. Or maybe a beautiful dream. She no longer knew the difference, could no longer tell when she was awake or asleep. She could not confide in Master Skywalker. He might send her away. She would be cast out, a failure, when she had failed so much already.
I can help you.
That voice again.
Don't be afraid, child. The Jedi does not know your plight. Does not see your conflict. But I understand.
All this pain, she thought. Did he feel it too? How could he live like this?
I can take it and turn you into something stronger.
Yes, she thought. Show me. She reached out through the Force. Whoever you are, if you can hear me, help me please.