No First Order AU - Han drags Luke away from his trainees for an unwanted vacation. They end up stranded on Jakku with Rey having the only compatible repair part in her personal not-for-sale scavenge collection. Rey's heard weird, only sometimes true stories about Luke and figures if anyone can find her family it's him. The trade she wants is a marriage between them valid until they either find her family or they have a child of their own! Han finds this hilarious as Leia has been trying to marry Luke off to show the new Jedi order is different than the old for years now, and refuses to help him negotiate a different deal.

+If you can give Finn and Poe interesting things to do without the FO around I'd love to see it!
++Ben Solo, the Galaxy's worst substitute teacher!
+++The pornier the better! (With newlyweds on his ship, Han thinks maybe he made a mistake?!)