"B-but sir! The fridge was full of expired blue milk, Lord Ren choked me the last time I tried to throw it out! And the cafeteria walk-in cold room had, like, thirty baby wampas living in there."

*everyone in the crazed craft club side-eyes Ren*

"WHAT?! IT'S NORMAL TO HAVE A FEW PETS. I RESCUED THEM. THEY'RE LIKE MY CHILDREN. I AM WELL-ADJUSTED. NEVER SPEAK TO ME OR MY WAMPAS EVER AGAIN"