His right hand went to his head before he could stop it. “What?”
“Your hair,” Ren repeated. “Your assistant was extremely rude to my hair stylist when he tried to get an appointment with you, so that can’t be it, but it looks much better than it did the other day.”
“I didn’t do anything to it,” Hux said, suddenly self-conscious. In fact, he’d refrained from putting any pomade in it that morning, all-too-mindful of Ren’s barbs, and it had to admit that it did in fact look a more vibrant red than it did most days.
But he wasn’t about to tell Ren that.
Ren took a step closer, almost crowding him – and enclosed as they were in the circle of mirrors, there wasn’t way for Hux to avoid the sight. Everywhere it was Ren, Ren, Ren, with his stupid smirk and stupid hair and truly despicable personality.
And excellent cologne, Hux was forced to admit to himself. Fuck.
“Well, whatever it is,” Ren said, almost lazily. “You should keep doing it. It looks good.”
Hux swallowed. “Right. I will keep that under consideration.”
“You do that,” Ren agreed. He was even closer now, merely inches away, looming with the coiled grace of a predator. “Tell me,” he continued, dragging the words out one by one. “Do you have any flying personnel in stand-by here at the Palace?”
Hux frowned, trying to figure out what the hell that was about. “Of course I do.” What kind of question was that? “There are always pilots in stand-by, for sudden flights.
“Great,” Ren smiled. He stepped back. “Then I’m going to need one to do a supply run.”
“What?”
“A supply run,” Ren shrugged. “It is in my contract, page five – I and my entourage are entitled to the usage of Palace resources during our stay, and we require a short hyperspace flight. When I inquired your assistant said that no pilots were available, but it’s good to see it must have been a mix-up.”
“Yes, that should be doable,” Hux agreed, not believing for a moment Savika would have ‘mixed up’ anything. “What do you need a ship for?”
Ren shrugged. “A last term purchase, I am afraid. You see, for my health is essential I only drink Lacian spring water, and you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to acquire on this planet.”
“So you need a hyperspace flight,” he repeated Ren’s words. “To Lacia. To get drinking water?”
That got him a nod. “I guess I’m lucky I got such a well-connected client,” Ren said. “And such an exhaustive contract.”
Hux almost couldn’t believe he’d seriously been considering kissing this man less than five minutes ago. What an absolute fucker.
++
“And how was your appointment with Master Ren this morning, sire?” Savika asked halfway through his lunch break.
“Better than I’d expected,” Hux said. He forcibly shoved a forkful of stew down his mouth. “He’s capricious, rude and I think he may be flirting with me, but once you get past all of that he actually does some good work.”
“Well, that’s progress,” she agreed, encouragingly. “I’ve put a bounty on him.”
He swallowed down another bit. “You’ve put a bounty on Ren?” Hux blinked. “That is actually quite brilliant. How much did you make it?”
“Thank you, sire,” She smiled. “And I made it forty thousand, but apparently it’s too low. No one would take the job – I think we might have something there.”
That was interesting. Forty thousand credits was by no means a fortune, but it was certainly a decent amount to ask for an idle Core ponce with no security to speak of. “Why wouldn’t they take it?”
Savika leaned in closer from where she was eating on the other side of his office desk, eyes gleaming in anticipation. “You’ll like this,” she said. “Apparently, eight years ago someone put a bounty on Ren, when he was just starting out. Apparently he seduced one of the children of a family he was working for, and the client took offence to that – there was some drama with a marriage contract, purity clauses…” her mouth twisted. “You know how backwards these old Core families are. So the client decided to have Ren killed, before they had to pay him, preferably, and hired a bounty hunter. Who disappeared.”
“Interesting,” Hux agreed, filing the information to muddle over later. “But hardly damning. Unless there’s more?” There probably was – Savika had a bit of a dramatic streak. Nowhere as bad as Ren’s, of course, not that anyone could possibly as dramatic as that insufferable man, but still nothing to sneer at. In fact, his assistant reminded Hux a bit of Phasma at her most mischievous, off-duty and after a few drinks.
There and then, he took mental notice to never, ever let Savika and Phasma in the same room without his direct supervision. With his luck, they’d probably start to date. And on that line… did Ren make a habit of sleeping with the people he worked for? Was that how he’d got so influential?
He was brought back to reality by a delicate cough.
“Sire?” Savika asked.
“Could you repeat that?” Distracted by thoughts of Kylo Ren. How humiliating. The entire situation was starting to become a problem.
“I said, that wasn’t the only bounty hunter who went after Ren. On the paper, he’s easy prey. There were at least four that I learned of, but a few others disappeared over the same period. A couple reappeared, later…” she flicked her heavy dark hair away from her face. “I was told it was very gruesome.”
“How gruesome?”
Savika shrugged, completely unfazed. “Hacked to pieces, apparently. Some sources say hot irons. Some others said hacked to pieces with a hot iron, though I’m not sure that’s physically possible. But no one would go after Ren for at least sixty thousand, and I’ve been asked to pay half of that upfront.”
Hux slumped back against his chair. “Well, this is interesting.”
“I thought so, sire,” she agreed. “Should I keep looking into that?”
He frowned. There wasn’t much to look into, not really – just a rhetorical question carried to the extreme by his ever-resourceful, over-zealous assistant, but there wasn’t anything else there, short of asking directly to Kylo Ren if he’d ever hacked somebody to pieces with a hot iron.
“Was there an official investigation?” Nine years ago, the Core had been under New Republic control, and while Hux held little faith in the ability of those useless bureaucrats to get anything done, someone somewhere must have deemed dismembered bodies an issue worth looking into. He hoped.
He didn’t get an answer; Savika was staring at a spot somewhere above his shoulder, looking vaguely embarrassed. That was new. Two months after Hux had been crowned, there had been rumors that a former lover of his had been looking into auctioning some private holomaterial of Hux in intimate situations. Savika had been the one to handle all of that – she’d had the holovids retrieved and destroyed unwatched, got her hands on all existing copies, and discretely hired a clean-up crew which had included two very good master assassin. She’d done all of that without even blinking.
“What is it?” Hux asked. A faint blush colored her cheeks.
“Sire, it’s that,” Savika started, then stuttered. “Um. There may have been an investigation at the time, but the events happened on Hosnian Prime. We don’t have a way to access any relevant files.”
“Ah.” Hux wondered if this was what his nanny used to mean when she told him that all actions did eventually have consequences. “How like the New Republic not to have a backup copy of their central databases,” he observed, mildly.
“I thought so, too, sire,” Savika said. She looked like she considered the New Republic’s inefficiency in data collection to be a personal insult.
“Well, there isn’t much to be done about that.” And Ren’s background check came out clean, he reminded himself. Kylo Ren had quite obviously created a brand new identity for himself a decade or so ago, but his existence since then was very well-documented, and very public. The oddest thing Hux could remember reading in Ren’s record was how he’d miraculously never been arrested despite his notorious tendency of outbursts in public places – strange, but not unsurprising for someone with so many connections in high places.
“You know what,” Hux said. “Let’s not waste any more time on this thing.”
I’m already spending too much time thinking about Kylo Ren as it is, he told himself. Savika nodded, but she looked hesitant.
“Oh, say what you have to say,” Hux growled. “I can take it.”
“I mean this with the uttermost respect,” Savika began. “And I know where all the bodies are buried.”
Hux pinched the bridge of nose with the finger of one hand. “You buried the bodies yourself,” he pointed out. “Come on, out with it.”
“When you say he was flirting with you…” she trailed off. He raised the hand that wasn’t currently massaging away the incoming headache, palm up.
“I’m going to stop you right here,” Hux said. “Do not.”
“I’m just saying, sire,” she said. Hux had his eyes closed, but he could feel her judging. “That would be a spectacularly bad decision.”
“Thank you for your absolutely unnecessary, gratuitous and unsolicited input,” he said, and went back to his lunch.
A/N: In case anyone were wondering, Ren has, at some point, totally slept with one of the red-headed models who look like Hux.
A/N #2: I'll post this on AO3 when it's done (I think about 3k left and it should be done by Sunday, but fics DO have a way to get away from me, so) in case anyone prefers it.
Fill: The Emperor's New Clothes, 3c/4-ish
“You’re insufferable,” he told Ren.
“Did you do something to your hair?” Ren asked.
His right hand went to his head before he could stop it. “What?”
“Your hair,” Ren repeated. “Your assistant was extremely rude to my hair stylist when he tried to get an appointment with you, so that can’t be it, but it looks much better than it did the other day.”
“I didn’t do anything to it,” Hux said, suddenly self-conscious. In fact, he’d refrained from putting any pomade in it that morning, all-too-mindful of Ren’s barbs, and it had to admit that it did in fact look a more vibrant red than it did most days.
But he wasn’t about to tell Ren that.
Ren took a step closer, almost crowding him – and enclosed as they were in the circle of mirrors, there wasn’t way for Hux to avoid the sight. Everywhere it was Ren, Ren, Ren, with his stupid smirk and stupid hair and truly despicable personality.
And excellent cologne, Hux was forced to admit to himself. Fuck.
“Well, whatever it is,” Ren said, almost lazily. “You should keep doing it. It looks good.”
Hux swallowed. “Right. I will keep that under consideration.”
“You do that,” Ren agreed. He was even closer now, merely inches away, looming with the coiled grace of a predator. “Tell me,” he continued, dragging the words out one by one. “Do you have any flying personnel in stand-by here at the Palace?”
Hux frowned, trying to figure out what the hell that was about. “Of course I do.” What kind of question was that? “There are always pilots in stand-by, for sudden flights.
“Great,” Ren smiled. He stepped back. “Then I’m going to need one to do a supply run.”
“What?”
“A supply run,” Ren shrugged. “It is in my contract, page five – I and my entourage are entitled to the usage of Palace resources during our stay, and we require a short hyperspace flight. When I inquired your assistant said that no pilots were available, but it’s good to see it must have been a mix-up.”
“Yes, that should be doable,” Hux agreed, not believing for a moment Savika would have ‘mixed up’ anything. “What do you need a ship for?”
Ren shrugged. “A last term purchase, I am afraid. You see, for my health is essential I only drink Lacian spring water, and you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to acquire on this planet.”
“So you need a hyperspace flight,” he repeated Ren’s words. “To Lacia. To get drinking water?”
That got him a nod. “I guess I’m lucky I got such a well-connected client,” Ren said. “And such an exhaustive contract.”
Hux almost couldn’t believe he’d seriously been considering kissing this man less than five minutes ago. What an absolute fucker.
++
“And how was your appointment with Master Ren this morning, sire?” Savika asked halfway through his lunch break.
“Better than I’d expected,” Hux said. He forcibly shoved a forkful of stew down his mouth. “He’s capricious, rude and I think he may be flirting with me, but once you get past all of that he actually does some good work.”
“Well, that’s progress,” she agreed, encouragingly. “I’ve put a bounty on him.”
He swallowed down another bit. “You’ve put a bounty on Ren?” Hux blinked. “That is actually quite brilliant. How much did you make it?”
“Thank you, sire,” She smiled. “And I made it forty thousand, but apparently it’s too low. No one would take the job – I think we might have something there.”
That was interesting. Forty thousand credits was by no means a fortune, but it was certainly a decent amount to ask for an idle Core ponce with no security to speak of. “Why wouldn’t they take it?”
Savika leaned in closer from where she was eating on the other side of his office desk, eyes gleaming in anticipation. “You’ll like this,” she said. “Apparently, eight years ago someone put a bounty on Ren, when he was just starting out. Apparently he seduced one of the children of a family he was working for, and the client took offence to that – there was some drama with a marriage contract, purity clauses…” her mouth twisted. “You know how backwards these old Core families are. So the client decided to have Ren killed, before they had to pay him, preferably, and hired a bounty hunter. Who disappeared.”
“Interesting,” Hux agreed, filing the information to muddle over later. “But hardly damning. Unless there’s more?” There probably was – Savika had a bit of a dramatic streak. Nowhere as bad as Ren’s, of course, not that anyone could possibly as dramatic as that insufferable man, but still nothing to sneer at. In fact, his assistant reminded Hux a bit of Phasma at her most mischievous, off-duty and after a few drinks.
There and then, he took mental notice to never, ever let Savika and Phasma in the same room without his direct supervision. With his luck, they’d probably start to date. And on that line… did Ren make a habit of sleeping with the people he worked for? Was that how he’d got so influential?
He was brought back to reality by a delicate cough.
“Sire?” Savika asked.
“Could you repeat that?” Distracted by thoughts of Kylo Ren. How humiliating. The entire situation was starting to become a problem.
“I said, that wasn’t the only bounty hunter who went after Ren. On the paper, he’s easy prey. There were at least four that I learned of, but a few others disappeared over the same period. A couple reappeared, later…” she flicked her heavy dark hair away from her face. “I was told it was very gruesome.”
“How gruesome?”
Savika shrugged, completely unfazed. “Hacked to pieces, apparently. Some sources say hot irons. Some others said hacked to pieces with a hot iron, though I’m not sure that’s physically possible. But no one would go after Ren for at least sixty thousand, and I’ve been asked to pay half of that upfront.”
Hux slumped back against his chair. “Well, this is interesting.”
“I thought so, sire,” she agreed. “Should I keep looking into that?”
He frowned. There wasn’t much to look into, not really – just a rhetorical question carried to the extreme by his ever-resourceful, over-zealous assistant, but there wasn’t anything else there, short of asking directly to Kylo Ren if he’d ever hacked somebody to pieces with a hot iron.
“Was there an official investigation?” Nine years ago, the Core had been under New Republic control, and while Hux held little faith in the ability of those useless bureaucrats to get anything done, someone somewhere must have deemed dismembered bodies an issue worth looking into. He hoped.
He didn’t get an answer; Savika was staring at a spot somewhere above his shoulder, looking vaguely embarrassed. That was new. Two months after Hux had been crowned, there had been rumors that a former lover of his had been looking into auctioning some private holomaterial of Hux in intimate situations. Savika had been the one to handle all of that – she’d had the holovids retrieved and destroyed unwatched, got her hands on all existing copies, and discretely hired a clean-up crew which had included two very good master assassin. She’d done all of that without even blinking.
“What is it?” Hux asked. A faint blush colored her cheeks.
“Sire, it’s that,” Savika started, then stuttered. “Um. There may have been an investigation at the time, but the events happened on Hosnian Prime. We don’t have a way to access any relevant files.”
“Ah.” Hux wondered if this was what his nanny used to mean when she told him that all actions did eventually have consequences. “How like the New Republic not to have a backup copy of their central databases,” he observed, mildly.
“I thought so, too, sire,” Savika said. She looked like she considered the New Republic’s inefficiency in data collection to be a personal insult.
“Well, there isn’t much to be done about that.” And Ren’s background check came out clean, he reminded himself. Kylo Ren had quite obviously created a brand new identity for himself a decade or so ago, but his existence since then was very well-documented, and very public. The oddest thing Hux could remember reading in Ren’s record was how he’d miraculously never been arrested despite his notorious tendency of outbursts in public places – strange, but not unsurprising for someone with so many connections in high places.
“You know what,” Hux said. “Let’s not waste any more time on this thing.”
I’m already spending too much time thinking about Kylo Ren as it is, he told himself. Savika nodded, but she looked hesitant.
“Oh, say what you have to say,” Hux growled. “I can take it.”
“I mean this with the uttermost respect,” Savika began. “And I know where all the bodies are buried.”
Hux pinched the bridge of nose with the finger of one hand. “You buried the bodies yourself,” he pointed out. “Come on, out with it.”
“When you say he was flirting with you…” she trailed off. He raised the hand that wasn’t currently massaging away the incoming headache, palm up.
“I’m going to stop you right here,” Hux said. “Do not.”
“I’m just saying, sire,” she said. Hux had his eyes closed, but he could feel her judging. “That would be a spectacularly bad decision.”
“Thank you for your absolutely unnecessary, gratuitous and unsolicited input,” he said, and went back to his lunch.
A/N: In case anyone were wondering, Ren has, at some point, totally slept with one of the red-headed models who look like Hux.
A/N #2: I'll post this on AO3 when it's done (I think about 3k left and it should be done by Sunday, but fics DO have a way to get away from me, so) in case anyone prefers it.