AN: written on the spur of the moment; not edited or beta-read.
My Heart Is A Ghost Town
"My father sold me to the Academy when I was five."
Hux's hand is a cool, cool pressure against his cheek, and Kylo is powerless to keep himself from turning his face into the touch. The General's hand is soft - so very soft, despite the hard callouses that speckle his palm and fingers.
His eyes are not soft. There is nothing soft in General Hux's eyes - but there is a light there nonetheless, something glimmering behind his gaze.
"He signed over his parental rights as part of the enrollment process. Formally gave me to the First Order, and received monetary recompense in return. Not - " Hux stresses " - that a five-year-old was worth a significant sum. But his demonstration of his commitment to the First Order was due cause for some notice of his service."
Kylo Ren had another life once. Another name. It had been taken from him in blood and fire, wrenched from desperate, clutching hands - his screaming corpse had been re-forged and honed to serve a single, specific Master.
But before he had been branded with the name he now wears, its every syllable and enunciation a dark tattoo binding him once again to his Master and the First Order, there had been another name. There had been a woman with soft hands and a kind smile.
It had been dark when soft-hands-and-kind-smile had taken him from his bed. He'd been crying, confused, not sure what was going on - only that he was being dressed in black (and he hated black, it was *hot* and it made him sad when he looked at it) and he'd been put in a shuttle, and soft-hands-and-kind-smile hadn't been smiling at all when she shut the door between them. He'd scrambled forward, tiny hands pounding desperately at the door - but the auto-pilot had engaged, and the ship had left the atmosphere as he ran for the cabin with the stupid idea of *forcing* it to land somewhere, because he had to get back, because he had to apologize for whatever he'd done wrong, he was SORRY -
"I was ten. When my mother sold me to Snoke."
Sold him to fire and pain and blood and screams, to being broken to heel and rebuilt into something unimaginable. Kylo Ren had no mother. There had been a woman with soft hands and a kind smile, but any association she might once have had with the concept of 'mother' had long since been severed.
It isn't pity in Hux's eyes. It is understanding.
The first that Kylo Ren has been offered in a very, very long time.
"My - my name used to be Ben." He finds himself telling Hux, the words spilling helplessly from his throat. He flinches involuntarily - the Supreme Leader used to hurt him whenever the name so much as flickered through his thoughts, until the only way to survive, to live, had been to be not-Ben. To be anything BUT Ben, and he had learned, he had learned, he had learned... "Ben Solo." It isn't anymore. It can't be. But it's still - the knowledge of it is the most precious thing he dares to imagine he possesses.
(He had nothing. He is nothing. All that he has, all that he is, belongs to Supreme Leader Snoke and the First Order).
Hux nods, leaning forward -
"My name - " the General says quietly, both hands framing Ren's quivering face, "Used to be Bren."
They are cast-aways and refuse. But tonight, the stars whirl past the broad plastisteel window of the Finalizer, and they have each other.
Mini-Fill: My Heart Is A Ghost Town
My Heart Is A Ghost Town
"My father sold me to the Academy when I was five."
Hux's hand is a cool, cool pressure against his cheek, and Kylo is powerless to keep himself from turning his face into the touch. The General's hand is soft - so very soft, despite the hard callouses that speckle his palm and fingers.
His eyes are not soft. There is nothing soft in General Hux's eyes - but there is a light there nonetheless, something glimmering behind his gaze.
"He signed over his parental rights as part of the enrollment process. Formally gave me to the First Order, and received monetary recompense in return. Not - " Hux stresses " - that a five-year-old was worth a significant sum. But his demonstration of his commitment to the First Order was due cause for some notice of his service."
Kylo Ren had another life once. Another name. It had been taken from him in blood and fire, wrenched from desperate, clutching hands - his screaming corpse had been re-forged and honed to serve a single, specific Master.
But before he had been branded with the name he now wears, its every syllable and enunciation a dark tattoo binding him once again to his Master and the First Order, there had been another name. There had been a woman with soft hands and a kind smile.
It had been dark when soft-hands-and-kind-smile had taken him from his bed. He'd been crying, confused, not sure what was going on - only that he was being dressed in black (and he hated black, it was *hot* and it made him sad when he looked at it) and he'd been put in a shuttle, and soft-hands-and-kind-smile hadn't been smiling at all when she shut the door between them. He'd scrambled forward, tiny hands pounding desperately at the door - but the auto-pilot had engaged, and the ship had left the atmosphere as he ran for the cabin with the stupid idea of *forcing* it to land somewhere, because he had to get back, because he had to apologize for whatever he'd done wrong, he was SORRY -
"I was ten. When my mother sold me to Snoke."
Sold him to fire and pain and blood and screams, to being broken to heel and rebuilt into something unimaginable. Kylo Ren had no mother. There had been a woman with soft hands and a kind smile, but any association she might once have had with the concept of 'mother' had long since been severed.
It isn't pity in Hux's eyes. It is understanding.
The first that Kylo Ren has been offered in a very, very long time.
"My - my name used to be Ben." He finds himself telling Hux, the words spilling helplessly from his throat. He flinches involuntarily - the Supreme Leader used to hurt him whenever the name so much as flickered through his thoughts, until the only way to survive, to live, had been to be not-Ben. To be anything BUT Ben, and he had learned, he had learned, he had learned... "Ben Solo." It isn't anymore. It can't be. But it's still - the knowledge of it is the most precious thing he dares to imagine he possesses.
(He had nothing. He is nothing. All that he has, all that he is, belongs to Supreme Leader Snoke and the First Order).
Hux nods, leaning forward -
"My name - " the General says quietly, both hands framing Ren's quivering face, "Used to be Bren."
They are cast-aways and refuse. But tonight, the stars whirl past the broad plastisteel window of the Finalizer, and they have each other.
It's enough.