It's a bit crack-y but hey, the Star Wars universe in general is a bit cracky. Ewoks exist, people get choked by the Force, why not help your friend whack off?
--
“Poe?”
Poe shifts in his bunk. It hasn’t even been ten minutes since they turned the lights off. “Yeah, Finn? What is it, buddy?”
“Can I ask you something… weird?”
“Sure,” Poe laughs. He wonders what could possibly be “weird” enough that Finn would wait until Poe was almost asleep.
“Uh… How do you masturbate?”
Poe practically jumps out of his skin. He reaches for the light switch and flips it on.
Finn is sitting curled up on his bunk, wide-eyed. “Why’d you turn the lights on?”
“Because this is not a conversation I’m having in the dark,” Poe says. “Alright. Could you, uh, tell me why you want to know how I masturbate?”
“No, no, that’s not—” Finn splutters. “I mean, how does someone, in general, make themselves… orgasm?”
Poe cannot believe this. “You’re telling me you’ve never…”
Finn shakes his head. “Back in the First Order, they made all of us start taking suppressants after adolescence,” Finn explains, looking down at the floor. “So we wouldn’t ‘inappropriately fraternize’.”
Holy shit. Poe just keeps finding more and more reasons to hate the First Order and everything they did to Finn. “Alright,” Poe says. “So I’m guessing the suppressants are out of your system now.”
“They are,” Finn says. “And my… it keeps getting hard and I know from my general education at the base that it’s normal, and that even men with the suppressants got erections sometimes, I just— I keep wanting to touch it but I can’t make it feel good and the medical droid told me that information on masturbation wasn’t in its data bank.”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy,” Poe says. “So you’re not sure how to touch yourself?”
Finn shrugs. “I tried… pulling on it, which seemed okay, but it wasn’t enough. It just made me more, um, frustrated.”
Poe sighs. “Alright. I’ll try to demonstrate. Let me just…” Poe runs a mental checklist of things in his room besides the dildo stashed in his sock drawer that are vaguely phallic. He stands up and rifles through his dresser until he finds an old instruction manual on engine repair. Poe rolls up the manual into a cylinder shape and sits beside Finn.
“Okay, Finn. Imagine this is… a dick.” He holds the manual in one hand and places it in front of his crotch, in case that was unclear. “You take your hand and you make a fist around it.” I can’t believe I am teaching Finn how to jerk off. “And you start moving your hand up and down. And you keep doing that until you come.”
“Come?” Finn says, raising an eyebrow. He’s still sitting with his arms holding his knees.
Poe feels his face heat up. “Come. Orgasm. Climax.”
“Okay,” Finn replies, looking just as embarrassed as Poe feels. “Got it. How will I know when I… come?”
“Believe me, you’ll know,” Poe unrolls the manual and tosses it away, hoping it lands somewhere near his dresser. He laughs a little at the absurdity of it all. “I mean, you’ll… ejaculate.”
Finn nods. “I remember something about that. It’s what impregnates females, right?”
“Yeah,” Poe says, “and it’s also what can spread diseases, so if you’re gonna sleep around— which is fine, by the way— just make sure one or both of you has a CC implant.”
“A what?” Finn asks.
“Contraceptive Combination implant. It’s a little chip they inject under your skin that prevents pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. The med droid probably injected you with one.” Poe rolls up the sleeve of his t-shirt so that his shoulder is exposed. “I have one. Most of us on base do, it’s protocol. If you feel my shoulder, there’s a little bump.”
Finn reaches out and touches the spot on Poe’s shoulder. Finn inhales sharply through his nose and brings his hand away like it’s burning.
“Something wrong?” Poe asks.
“No, it’s okay. I think I get it now,” Finn rushes the words out and scrambles to get back under his blanket. “Goodnight, Poe.”
“Alright, Finn. See you in the morning.” Poe walks back to his bunk and switches the light off.
A minute of stillness passes. Then, Poe hears the rustling of fabric and the unmistakable slide of skin against skin. Then, silence again. A frustrated groan. More silence. Sweet silence for almost another five minutes, then— “Damn it! It’s not working!”
This was not happening.
“Finn, are you trying to masturbate right now?” Poe already knows the answer, but asks anyway.
“Yes,” Finn whines, “and it’s not doing anything.”
“I’m turning on the light again,” Poe warns, and turns on the light.
Apparently, Finn didn’t take that as a cue to throw the covers back on. Finn’s cock is straining against his stomach, the tip an angry red. It looks painful. Poe’s cock twitches in sympathy. No, no, he is not going to get turned on by this. This is just… Helping a friend.
“Poe, please,” Finn pleads.
“Okay,” Poe says, although he’s not sure what exactly he’s going to do. He walks to Finn’s bunk and sits on the edge.
“First, let’s get these off all the way.” Poe tugs at the underwear still bunched around Finn’s ankles and pulls the garment all the way off. “Better?”
Finn nods, sheepish.
“Alright, I’m going to sit behind you,” Poe says, maneuvering himself behind Finn, “and I want you to lean back against my chest, okay?”
Finn does as Poe asks, moving so that he’s settled between Poe’s legs, back against Poe. Poe puts his hands around Finn’s waist and tries to ignore the growing arousal in his boxers.
“Touch yourself,” Poe says, running a hand up and down Finn’s side reassuringly. Finn breathes shakily as he wraps his hand around his cock; his grip looks too loose and the angle is all wrong. Poe reaches down and adjusts Finn’s wrist, then encircles Finn’s hand and squeezes.
“Oh,” Finn moans, his hips jutting up.
“Yeah,” Poe says as he leads Finn’s hand, “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” Finn cries out, “please—”
Poe moves their hands together, twisting a bit on the upstroke, and Finn shakes.
“More, I want— I want—” Finn gasps.
Poe grips just a bit tighter, picking up the pace.
“I got you, buddy,” Poe says. “Just let go.”
Poe moves his free hand to rub Finn’s nipple in slow circles. Finn practically yells, his hips snapping erratically as he comes all over his and Poe’s hands.
After his muscles stop trembling, Finn settles further back into Poe’s chest, breathing heavily. “That was so good,” he sighs. “Poe, that was amazing.”
“That’s just the start,” Poe says. “There’s lots more you can do to orgasm.”
“Will you show me?” Finn asks, voice slurring and sated.
“Only if you want me to,” Poe replies, and he can’t help himself as he places a kiss on the top of Finn’s head. Finn sighs, content.
“I’m gonna slip into the ’fresher for a minute,” Poe says. “That okay with you?”
Finn nods and closes his eyes. Clearly, he’s about to fall asleep. Poe smiles.
He then dashes into the ’fresher for what is possibly the quickest jerk-off session of his life.
Fill: The Instruction Manual
It's a bit crack-y but hey, the Star Wars universe in general is a bit cracky. Ewoks exist, people get choked by the Force, why not help your friend whack off?
--
“Poe?”
Poe shifts in his bunk. It hasn’t even been ten minutes since they turned the lights off. “Yeah, Finn? What is it, buddy?”
“Can I ask you something… weird?”
“Sure,” Poe laughs. He wonders what could possibly be “weird” enough that Finn would wait until Poe was almost asleep.
“Uh… How do you masturbate?”
Poe practically jumps out of his skin. He reaches for the light switch and flips it on.
Finn is sitting curled up on his bunk, wide-eyed. “Why’d you turn the lights on?”
“Because this is not a conversation I’m having in the dark,” Poe says. “Alright. Could you, uh, tell me why you want to know how I masturbate?”
“No, no, that’s not—” Finn splutters. “I mean, how does someone, in general, make themselves… orgasm?”
Poe cannot believe this. “You’re telling me you’ve never…”
Finn shakes his head. “Back in the First Order, they made all of us start taking suppressants after adolescence,” Finn explains, looking down at the floor. “So we wouldn’t ‘inappropriately fraternize’.”
Holy shit. Poe just keeps finding more and more reasons to hate the First Order and everything they did to Finn. “Alright,” Poe says. “So I’m guessing the suppressants are out of your system now.”
“They are,” Finn says. “And my… it keeps getting hard and I know from my general education at the base that it’s normal, and that even men with the suppressants got erections sometimes, I just— I keep wanting to touch it but I can’t make it feel good and the medical droid told me that information on masturbation wasn’t in its data bank.”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy,” Poe says. “So you’re not sure how to touch yourself?”
Finn shrugs. “I tried… pulling on it, which seemed okay, but it wasn’t enough. It just made me more, um, frustrated.”
Poe sighs. “Alright. I’ll try to demonstrate. Let me just…” Poe runs a mental checklist of things in his room besides the dildo stashed in his sock drawer that are vaguely phallic. He stands up and rifles through his dresser until he finds an old instruction manual on engine repair. Poe rolls up the manual into a cylinder shape and sits beside Finn.
“Okay, Finn. Imagine this is… a dick.” He holds the manual in one hand and places it in front of his crotch, in case that was unclear. “You take your hand and you make a fist around it.” I can’t believe I am teaching Finn how to jerk off. “And you start moving your hand up and down. And you keep doing that until you come.”
“Come?” Finn says, raising an eyebrow. He’s still sitting with his arms holding his knees.
Poe feels his face heat up. “Come. Orgasm. Climax.”
“Okay,” Finn replies, looking just as embarrassed as Poe feels. “Got it. How will I know when I… come?”
“Believe me, you’ll know,” Poe unrolls the manual and tosses it away, hoping it lands somewhere near his dresser. He laughs a little at the absurdity of it all. “I mean, you’ll… ejaculate.”
Finn nods. “I remember something about that. It’s what impregnates females, right?”
“Yeah,” Poe says, “and it’s also what can spread diseases, so if you’re gonna sleep around— which is fine, by the way— just make sure one or both of you has a CC implant.”
“A what?” Finn asks.
“Contraceptive Combination implant. It’s a little chip they inject under your skin that prevents pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. The med droid probably injected you with one.” Poe rolls up the sleeve of his t-shirt so that his shoulder is exposed. “I have one. Most of us on base do, it’s protocol. If you feel my shoulder, there’s a little bump.”
Finn reaches out and touches the spot on Poe’s shoulder. Finn inhales sharply through his nose and brings his hand away like it’s burning.
“Something wrong?” Poe asks.
“No, it’s okay. I think I get it now,” Finn rushes the words out and scrambles to get back under his blanket. “Goodnight, Poe.”
“Alright, Finn. See you in the morning.” Poe walks back to his bunk and switches the light off.
A minute of stillness passes. Then, Poe hears the rustling of fabric and the unmistakable slide of skin against skin. Then, silence again. A frustrated groan. More silence. Sweet silence for almost another five minutes, then— “Damn it! It’s not working!”
This was not happening.
“Finn, are you trying to masturbate right now?” Poe already knows the answer, but asks anyway.
“Yes,” Finn whines, “and it’s not doing anything.”
“I’m turning on the light again,” Poe warns, and turns on the light.
Apparently, Finn didn’t take that as a cue to throw the covers back on. Finn’s cock is straining against his stomach, the tip an angry red. It looks painful. Poe’s cock twitches in sympathy. No, no, he is not going to get turned on by this. This is just… Helping a friend.
“Poe, please,” Finn pleads.
“Okay,” Poe says, although he’s not sure what exactly he’s going to do. He walks to Finn’s bunk and sits on the edge.
“First, let’s get these off all the way.” Poe tugs at the underwear still bunched around Finn’s ankles and pulls the garment all the way off. “Better?”
Finn nods, sheepish.
“Alright, I’m going to sit behind you,” Poe says, maneuvering himself behind Finn, “and I want you to lean back against my chest, okay?”
Finn does as Poe asks, moving so that he’s settled between Poe’s legs, back against Poe. Poe puts his hands around Finn’s waist and tries to ignore the growing arousal in his boxers.
“Touch yourself,” Poe says, running a hand up and down Finn’s side reassuringly. Finn breathes shakily as he wraps his hand around his cock; his grip looks too loose and the angle is all wrong. Poe reaches down and adjusts Finn’s wrist, then encircles Finn’s hand and squeezes.
“Oh,” Finn moans, his hips jutting up.
“Yeah,” Poe says as he leads Finn’s hand, “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” Finn cries out, “please—”
Poe moves their hands together, twisting a bit on the upstroke, and Finn shakes.
“More, I want— I want—” Finn gasps.
Poe grips just a bit tighter, picking up the pace.
“I got you, buddy,” Poe says. “Just let go.”
Poe moves his free hand to rub Finn’s nipple in slow circles. Finn practically yells, his hips snapping erratically as he comes all over his and Poe’s hands.
After his muscles stop trembling, Finn settles further back into Poe’s chest, breathing heavily. “That was so good,” he sighs. “Poe, that was amazing.”
“That’s just the start,” Poe says. “There’s lots more you can do to orgasm.”
“Will you show me?” Finn asks, voice slurring and sated.
“Only if you want me to,” Poe replies, and he can’t help himself as he places a kiss on the top of Finn’s head. Finn sighs, content.
“I’m gonna slip into the ’fresher for a minute,” Poe says. “That okay with you?”
Finn nods and closes his eyes. Clearly, he’s about to fall asleep. Poe smiles.
He then dashes into the ’fresher for what is possibly the quickest jerk-off session of his life.