Oh wow, thank you so much for all the comments! I didn't expect them :) I'm super appreciative you like! Sorry it took ages to post more! Hope it's still fun
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Phasma didn't often take off her helmet, but she did this time.
"I'm sorry, I think I didn't hear properly. Come again?" the look of absolute bafflement almost made him backtrack but he figured it would be weirder to pretend he hadn't said what he had, at least if he was firm he would be able to pretend this was a sensible request.
"Measurements, of our soldiers, and the Knights of Ren." He tried to keep his firm and professional demeanor, ignoring the way he could feel the heat rising to the tips of his ears.
"Uh... we don't have them but... I could obtain them. If needed. What for?" Oh. He really should've planned ahead. He didn't think she would question him but it made sense for her to at least wonder where the request had come from.
"The research team. We're running numbers to design the ideal soldier. We're trying to see if penile girth and length has any... relevance with regards to... efficiency..." his mouth was dry, all fluid having left his insides and pouring out from his forehead in thick embarrassing drops. He wiped himself with his handkerchief.
"A majority of our best soldiers are women," she stated matter of factly, she truly didn't take kindly when her gender was overlooked.
"Precisely, we... want to see if... smaller or non-existent p-penises are..."
She cut him off, "Some of our best women soldiers were born with or currently have penises of varying sizes, this is objectifying, degrading, and the sort of bigotry that should not exist in an organization such as ours!"
Oh, he hated when she raised her voice. He was pretty sure her voice alone was strong enough to snap him in half like a twig. "I'm sorry, Phasma. I don't mean-- I just..."
He was at a loss for words, she was so rightfully angry. He should have probably just gone with his first plan and searched for numbers on what was considered 'well-endowed' on the holonet. But the higher-ups could see your search history (to prevent treason) and he really thought they'd have numbers on this. They practically recorded every breath, minute of sleep and bowel movement of everyone on base. They had measures of every body part to provide armor... he figured it was a natural thing since their protective crotch armor was so aptly built.
He had been fidgeting for a good minute or so and he was so embarrassed he considered defecting until he saw Phasma's face, much softer than before. "Are you gay, sir?"
"M-me? What? Phasma! I- well, perhaps!!!" He knew exactly where to find a pod and what planet to go to. It had been a good life.
"Hux, don't be insecure. I'm sure your penis is a perfectly satisfactory size. You don't have to compare yourself to the other guys, I'm sure your man will like it." What on the galaxy? "Whoever your man is," she finished with a wink.
Hux's arms felt longer than usual, reaching well below his knees in absolute vulnerable defeat. She was so kind to him. "Thanks, Phasma."
An awkward silence landed over them like a thick slime blanket and stayed there, Phasma too merciful to move and Hux to defeated to. At last he gave in and asked directly, "What does well-endowed entail, Phasma?"
She burst out laughing, and Hux would've crumbled into sand had she not looked so fond of him. "Oh, Hux, well, in reality that can be anything beyond 7 inches or so. People like to exaggerate though."
He managed to bite his lip right on time before asking how she was so knowledgeable and just nodded a thank you before scurrying back to his quarters. He'd send her a fine box of Tauntaun jerky for her troubles later. For now, he needed to finish his chapter
...the well-endowed Knight stood before the General fully bare now. Sweat glistened on his breast and down his abdomen, a trail of fine hair leading below where dark curls nestled at the base of his eleven-inch manhood.
'Take me,' Hux whimpered, and whatever he tried to say after was swallowed by the younger man in a desperate kiss.
Re: [FILL] Kylo/Hux - one sided, humour 3/?
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Phasma didn't often take off her helmet, but she did this time.
"I'm sorry, I think I didn't hear properly. Come again?" the look of absolute bafflement almost made him backtrack but he figured it would be weirder to pretend he hadn't said what he had, at least if he was firm he would be able to pretend this was a sensible request.
"Measurements, of our soldiers, and the Knights of Ren." He tried to keep his firm and professional demeanor, ignoring the way he could feel the heat rising to the tips of his ears.
"Uh... we don't have them but... I could obtain them. If needed. What for?" Oh. He really should've planned ahead. He didn't think she would question him but it made sense for her to at least wonder where the request had come from.
"The research team. We're running numbers to design the ideal soldier. We're trying to see if penile girth and length has any... relevance with regards to... efficiency..." his mouth was dry, all fluid having left his insides and pouring out from his forehead in thick embarrassing drops. He wiped himself with his handkerchief.
"A majority of our best soldiers are women," she stated matter of factly, she truly didn't take kindly when her gender was overlooked.
"Precisely, we... want to see if... smaller or non-existent p-penises are..."
She cut him off, "Some of our best women soldiers were born with or currently have penises of varying sizes, this is objectifying, degrading, and the sort of bigotry that should not exist in an organization such as ours!"
Oh, he hated when she raised her voice. He was pretty sure her voice alone was strong enough to snap him in half like a twig. "I'm sorry, Phasma. I don't mean-- I just..."
He was at a loss for words, she was so rightfully angry. He should have probably just gone with his first plan and searched for numbers on what was considered 'well-endowed' on the holonet. But the higher-ups could see your search history (to prevent treason) and he really thought they'd have numbers on this. They practically recorded every breath, minute of sleep and bowel movement of everyone on base. They had measures of every body part to provide armor... he figured it was a natural thing since their protective crotch armor was so aptly built.
He had been fidgeting for a good minute or so and he was so embarrassed he considered defecting until he saw Phasma's face, much softer than before. "Are you gay, sir?"
"M-me? What? Phasma! I- well, perhaps!!!" He knew exactly where to find a pod and what planet to go to. It had been a good life.
"Hux, don't be insecure. I'm sure your penis is a perfectly satisfactory size. You don't have to compare yourself to the other guys, I'm sure your man will like it." What on the galaxy? "Whoever your man is," she finished with a wink.
Hux's arms felt longer than usual, reaching well below his knees in absolute vulnerable defeat. She was so kind to him. "Thanks, Phasma."
An awkward silence landed over them like a thick slime blanket and stayed there, Phasma too merciful to move and Hux to defeated to. At last he gave in and asked directly, "What does well-endowed entail, Phasma?"
She burst out laughing, and Hux would've crumbled into sand had she not looked so fond of him. "Oh, Hux, well, in reality that can be anything beyond 7 inches or so. People like to exaggerate though."
He managed to bite his lip right on time before asking how she was so knowledgeable and just nodded a thank you before scurrying back to his quarters. He'd send her a fine box of Tauntaun jerky for her troubles later. For now, he needed to finish his chapter
...the well-endowed Knight stood before the General fully bare now. Sweat glistened on his breast and down his abdomen, a trail of fine hair leading below where dark curls nestled at the base of his eleven-inch manhood.
'Take me,' Hux whimpered, and whatever he tried to say after was swallowed by the younger man in a desperate kiss.