Oops posted the unedited version. Other than spelling and grammar, I have have one major line change, from Kylo at the end:
"Kylo counts the credits before stuffing them in his belt. "If he had waited that long, he wouldn't need have been able to escape Hux. I tried to warn him before but he didn't listen."
Author anon
"Kylo counts the credits before stuffing them in his belt. "If he had waited that long, he wouldn't need have been able to escape Hux. I tried to warn him before but he didn't listen."
Kylo is... The Voice!