Finn looked down at the remainder of his Republican credits in his hands, then back at the price tag under the display stand of stuffed toy birds.
Perfect.
The birds seemed to be well-crafted, though by no means Finn was an expert on plush toys. He put the credits back in his trousers pocket and grabbed the toy. He ran his fingers over the synthetic black fur. It was very soft under his skin, shining in the warm light of the store. He poked at its long, thin orange beak, appreciating the quality of the fabric used for this part of the toy.
He pressed it against his chest, stroking its head.
« You are coming with me » he muttered to the toy. He hoped that Poe would love it as much as he was already loving it.
He turned around to see Rey laughing with the store clerk, a woman about as young as Finn. His friend was trying on various, brightly colored hairpins in front of a mirror. She noticed that Finn was looking at her in the mirror, and a large smile brightened up her face.
« He’s going to love it! » she assured once they had left the store, clutching their numerous shopping bags.
« I was afraid I was never going to find anything » Finn replied.
They were officially on a supply run for the Resistance, tasked to honor the payment of new, improved engines for the speeders the Resistance used to carry goods or equipment across the base. However, Poe had explained that they was probably going to be leftover money from it, and that they were free to buy anything they wanted on Coruscant once they would be done.
Finn had been reluctant at first. Wouldn’t they get in trouble if it was discovered? Poe had to explain to him that it was a usual custom for people tasked to buy supplies. A thank you gesture for completing the task – and for everything else, he had added. The expression on his face had turned a little less enthusiastic, telling them that they had the right to have some civilian fun on such an interesting, busy Core planet after everything they had been through.
Habits were hard to break, however, and he and Rey went for practicality first with what was left of the money. Good, solid clothes and shoes had eaten up almost all of their credits, even with Rey’s amazing negotiation skills.
Once Rey had decided that she had bought all she really needed, she was the first one to get into the civilian fun part of their shopping trip. After a lifetime of food rations, she wanted to try and taste everything, buying little amounts of candies, cookies and cakes in every store they went across.
Finn had decided that he needed to buy something for Poe with his remaining money instead. After all, Poe and Finn were going on a date – Finn felt that he was going to start levitating every time he thought up a sentence with both « Poe » and « date » in it – and offering gifts was something you did on a date. There were also many other things you did on a date, according to Jessika. He had taken notes carefully when he had asked her what a date was.
The sun was low in the sky, and the air was getting colder, so both Finn and Rey settled to end the afternoon before a glass of hot stim tea. Rey spent her last credits getting the fanciest drink they served at the establishment – cantina didn’t seem right for it, Finn thought, as it seemed devoid of any shady individual, instead being populated by young, seemingly carefree Coruscant citizens.
There was a young Keshian lady alone at the table to their right. At her feet, there was a shopping bag coming from the same store as the stuffed bird. She was alone, but was quickly joined by two other young women.
« So, are you going to show it us or not? » one of her friends teased. The woman reached out for her bag, and pulled out a stuffed duncow. Finn had spotted it at the store too, and while it was definitely cute, there had been something about the stuffed bird that seemed just right.
« Seriously? » her other friend replied. Finn watched with anxiety as the proud smile on the woman’s face slowly faded.
« What’s wrong with it? » she asked in a white voice.
« It’s sending the wrong message. Like, you just think he’s soft and that you just want to cuddle with him instead of, you know… »
The Keshian’s lady cheeks turned bright red. « But he likes it when I call him my little duncalf! » and her friends snorted.
Finn looked down at his hands. In a sense, yes, he wanted that with Poe – cuddling. They had spent more time together than apart from each other ever since he had woken up from his coma. He had enjoyed it very much, Poe letting Finn lean on him when he was still too weak to walk on his own. Poe covering his hands with his own when he taught him how to fly an airship. Poe falling asleep on his shoulder after a particularly exhausting recon mission. He definitely wanted more of that, and he was going to tell him that night.
There was also a part of him that wanted something more, to share more than friendly physical contact. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was, only that it made his heart beat like a drum in his chest, and that he would get crushed if Poe didn’t want more as well. He didn’t quite get what it was, but he was sure that it was that « instead of, you know… » the other woman was talking about.
« I think I made a mistake » Finn mumbled to himself. He looked up at Rey. She stopped sipping on her stim tea topped with purple whipped milk and cookie bits.
She reached out for his hand. « It’s going to be okay, Finn. Poe’s a great guy, I’m sure that if you explain clearly how you feel, he will get it » she said softly, before winking at him.
That was the issue, he thought. He was not good at explaining things clearly, because he wasn’t quite sure what that thing he wanted with Poe was. He had wanted the stuffed toy to do the talking to him, and now he realized that it would say the opposite of what was on his mind.
She wished him good luck at the door of his hotel room, before going off to Luke Skywalker’s room. « Jedi stuff » she had whispered, before making a grimace. For the most part, her apprenticeship was something that she enjoyed doing, but she had confided in him that she sometimes missed the freedom of being on her own, despite the constant loneliness she felt on Jakku.
Finn had enough time for a quick trip to the refresher before putting on some nicer clothes. They were nowhere near as good-looking at some of the clothes Finn had seem some civilians wear. Maybe Poe would think that he hadn’t put any effort at all. He ran his fingers over his short hair. The trend on Coruscant was apparently to let one’s hair grow as long as possible before tying it in outlandish buns or braids. He tried to imagine him and Poe having some of the most convoluted hairstyles he had seen, and burst into laughter.
He threw one last look at his bedside table before heading out. He had sat down the stuffed toy on it, orange legs sticking out from under it. That was better if he didn’t bring it with him. Don’t let Poe get the wrong idea, he convinced himself.
Poe was waiting for him in the hotel lobby. He was still wearing his dress uniform, apologizing to Finn for it and explaining that the reunion lasted longer than what he had assumed.
You have nothing to apologize for, Finn thought. You look good in it, as you look good in anything else.
Poe was unusually nervous, he noticed. His smile seemed fixed, and he kept tucking a stray dark lock under his left ear. Finn blushed as he realized that he really wanted to fix that stray lock himself.
He had let Poe pick the location of the date, a nice, cozy little restaurant away from Coruscant’s busiest streets. The few patrons raised their heads as they walked in, their gaze landing on Poe’s Resistance uniform.
Poe started to loosen up a bit once they were settled on their table. He explained the different food items offered to Finn. He recognized some of it from what was served at the Resistance mess hall, but most of it was foreign to him.
« How about we try a little bit of everything? » Poe suggested.
« We can really do that? » Finn asked, dumbfounded.
« Absolutely » he answered with a warm smile.
They waited for their food by sipping on the house’s specialty alcoholic beverage. It tasted very sweet, also completely hiding the alcohol.
« I lean more towards the bitter stuff » Poe explained after dipping his lips into the glass. His eyes brightened up briefly, and he reached out for something in his pocket.
« This… might not be very appropriate for a first date, but …» Poe began, opening his hand to reveal a little brightly colored paper bag. « I couldn’t help myself » he finished with a soft smile.
He opened the bag to reveal a bracelet made of round, dark green mineral beads. « Discovered this during a mission on Dantooine. It’s supposed to protect its wearer. If you’re stranded somewhere without a weapon or an escape route, you’re pretty much doomed with or without it, but who knows? » He breathed out very slowly, rubbing his thumb over one of the beads. « Gotta cover all the angles, right?»
If Finn’s heart started beating any stronger, he was sure Poe would be able to hear it from his seat. He felt so good and so bad at the same time, because Poe’s present was filling him with joy, and a simple thank you just wasn’t enough to answer to that. He had nothing to give back in return, he was sure now that with so little of what he knew from life there was nothing he could have picked that would have been as meaningful as what Poe had given him. Force help him, how could he have thought that a plush toy would have been acceptable next to this?
Poe spotted his trouble, still holding out the bracelet in front of him.
« You… don’t like it? » he asked in a trembling voice, much to Finn’s horror.
« No, that’s not it, I love it, it’s just… I got you nothing » he answered.
He felt his throat tightening up, and swallowed hard.
«It’s okay, Finn » Poe said very softly. « I didn’t get you this because I was expecting something in return. » His smile was warm, and Finn knew that he was telling the truth.
He rolled up his sleeve on his right arm and reached it out for Poe. « I want to wear it now » he explained.
He gasped as Poe’s fingers brushed against the skin of his wrist, fastening the bracelet. They remained a little longer over his wrist than what was necessary, and Finn was enjoying this, feeling Poe’s skin over his own. He looked up at Poe, and there was a subtle change in his expression, his warm smile turning into a smirk that made his heart skip a beat in his chest.
The waiter droid interrupted the moment, announcing in a neutral voice the numerous dishes they had ordered.
Finn ate his food slowly, wanting to feel all the flavors, engraving the sensations in his memory. Poe answered his question about what everything was, providing insight on the food’s provenance. Finn started imagining the locations Poe talked about, realizing that the other man had already lived his fair share of adventures before meeting Finn. He laughed as Poe started chewing almost angrily on a piece of poultry.
« I hate nunas, but they taste delicious » Poe explained. « Got bitten by a nuna when I was a kid and visited Naboo with my parents. Now I’m enjoying my sweet, sweet revenge whenever I can ».
He shot a mischievous smile before cutting up another piece, and Finn felt like that he was finally getting his share of civilian fun, as Poe had called it. When he and Rey wandered into the shopping district earlier, he had spotted the numerous patrol droids and the government posters on the streets indicating the nearest bomb shelters. Yet the people there seemed almost unaffected by it, going on with their days, hanging out with friends, lovers or family.
Now, at this table, looking up at Poe who gazed at him like he was the most important person in the whole galaxy, talking about foreign dishes from distant worlds, he felt a little closer to them. He could too almost forget that there was a war going and that they were both soldiers risking their life to end the First Order’s reign of terror.
Fill : Little Black One (1/2)
Perfect.
The birds seemed to be well-crafted, though by no means Finn was an expert on plush toys. He put the credits back in his trousers pocket and grabbed the toy. He ran his fingers over the synthetic black fur. It was very soft under his skin, shining in the warm light of the store. He poked at its long, thin orange beak, appreciating the quality of the fabric used for this part of the toy.
He pressed it against his chest, stroking its head.
« You are coming with me » he muttered to the toy. He hoped that Poe would love it as much as he was already loving it.
He turned around to see Rey laughing with the store clerk, a woman about as young as Finn. His friend was trying on various, brightly colored hairpins in front of a mirror. She noticed that Finn was looking at her in the mirror, and a large smile brightened up her face.
« He’s going to love it! » she assured once they had left the store, clutching their numerous shopping bags.
« I was afraid I was never going to find anything » Finn replied.
They were officially on a supply run for the Resistance, tasked to honor the payment of new, improved engines for the speeders the Resistance used to carry goods or equipment across the base. However, Poe had explained that they was probably going to be leftover money from it, and that they were free to buy anything they wanted on Coruscant once they would be done.
Finn had been reluctant at first. Wouldn’t they get in trouble if it was discovered? Poe had to explain to him that it was a usual custom for people tasked to buy supplies. A thank you gesture for completing the task – and for everything else, he had added. The expression on his face had turned a little less enthusiastic, telling them that they had the right to have some civilian fun on such an interesting, busy Core planet after everything they had been through.
Habits were hard to break, however, and he and Rey went for practicality first with what was left of the money. Good, solid clothes and shoes had eaten up almost all of their credits, even with Rey’s amazing negotiation skills.
Once Rey had decided that she had bought all she really needed, she was the first one to get into the civilian fun part of their shopping trip. After a lifetime of food rations, she wanted to try and taste everything, buying little amounts of candies, cookies and cakes in every store they went across.
Finn had decided that he needed to buy something for Poe with his remaining money instead. After all, Poe and Finn were going on a date – Finn felt that he was going to start levitating every time he thought up a sentence with both « Poe » and « date » in it – and offering gifts was something you did on a date. There were also many other things you did on a date, according to Jessika. He had taken notes carefully when he had asked her what a date was.
The sun was low in the sky, and the air was getting colder, so both Finn and Rey settled to end the afternoon before a glass of hot stim tea. Rey spent her last credits getting the fanciest drink they served at the establishment – cantina didn’t seem right for it, Finn thought, as it seemed devoid of any shady individual, instead being populated by young, seemingly carefree Coruscant citizens.
There was a young Keshian lady alone at the table to their right. At her feet, there was a shopping bag coming from the same store as the stuffed bird. She was alone, but was quickly joined by two other young women.
« So, are you going to show it us or not? » one of her friends teased.
The woman reached out for her bag, and pulled out a stuffed duncow. Finn had spotted it at the store too, and while it was definitely cute, there had been something about the stuffed bird that seemed just right.
« Seriously? » her other friend replied. Finn watched with anxiety as the proud smile on the woman’s face slowly faded.
« What’s wrong with it? » she asked in a white voice.
« It’s sending the wrong message. Like, you just think he’s soft and that you just want to cuddle with him instead of, you know… »
The Keshian’s lady cheeks turned bright red. « But he likes it when I call him my little duncalf! » and her friends snorted.
Finn looked down at his hands. In a sense, yes, he wanted that with Poe – cuddling. They had spent more time together than apart from each other ever since he had woken up from his coma. He had enjoyed it very much, Poe letting Finn lean on him when he was still too weak to walk on his own. Poe covering his hands with his own when he taught him how to fly an airship. Poe falling asleep on his shoulder after a particularly exhausting recon mission. He definitely wanted more of that, and he was going to tell him that night.
There was also a part of him that wanted something more, to share more than friendly physical contact. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was, only that it made his heart beat like a drum in his chest, and that he would get crushed if Poe didn’t want more as well. He didn’t quite get what it was, but he was sure that it was that « instead of, you know… » the other woman was talking about.
« I think I made a mistake » Finn mumbled to himself. He looked up at Rey. She stopped sipping on her stim tea topped with purple whipped milk and cookie bits.
She reached out for his hand. « It’s going to be okay, Finn. Poe’s a great guy, I’m sure that if you explain clearly how you feel, he will get it » she said softly, before winking at him.
That was the issue, he thought. He was not good at explaining things clearly, because he wasn’t quite sure what that thing he wanted with Poe was. He had wanted the stuffed toy to do the talking to him, and now he realized that it would say the opposite of what was on his mind.
She wished him good luck at the door of his hotel room, before going off to Luke Skywalker’s room. « Jedi stuff » she had whispered, before making a grimace. For the most part, her apprenticeship was something that she enjoyed doing, but she had confided in him that she sometimes missed the freedom of being on her own, despite the constant loneliness she felt on Jakku.
Finn had enough time for a quick trip to the refresher before putting on some nicer clothes. They were nowhere near as good-looking at some of the clothes Finn had seem some civilians wear. Maybe Poe would think that he hadn’t put any effort at all. He ran his fingers over his short hair. The trend on Coruscant was apparently to let one’s hair grow as long as possible before tying it in outlandish buns or braids. He tried to imagine him and Poe having some of the most convoluted hairstyles he had seen, and burst into laughter.
He threw one last look at his bedside table before heading out. He had sat down the stuffed toy on it, orange legs sticking out from under it. That was better if he didn’t bring it with him. Don’t let Poe get the wrong idea, he convinced himself.
Poe was waiting for him in the hotel lobby. He was still wearing his dress uniform, apologizing to Finn for it and explaining that the reunion lasted longer than what he had assumed.
You have nothing to apologize for, Finn thought. You look good in it, as you look good in anything else.
Poe was unusually nervous, he noticed. His smile seemed fixed, and he kept tucking a stray dark lock under his left ear. Finn blushed as he realized that he really wanted to fix that stray lock himself.
He had let Poe pick the location of the date, a nice, cozy little restaurant away from Coruscant’s busiest streets. The few patrons raised their heads as they walked in, their gaze landing on Poe’s Resistance uniform.
Poe started to loosen up a bit once they were settled on their table. He explained the different food items offered to Finn. He recognized some of it from what was served at the Resistance mess hall, but most of it was foreign to him.
« How about we try a little bit of everything? » Poe suggested.
« We can really do that? » Finn asked, dumbfounded.
« Absolutely » he answered with a warm smile.
They waited for their food by sipping on the house’s specialty alcoholic beverage. It tasted very sweet, also completely hiding the alcohol.
« I lean more towards the bitter stuff » Poe explained after dipping his lips into the glass. His eyes brightened up briefly, and he reached out for something in his pocket.
« This… might not be very appropriate for a first date, but …» Poe began, opening his hand to reveal a little brightly colored paper bag. « I couldn’t help myself » he finished with a soft smile.
He opened the bag to reveal a bracelet made of round, dark green mineral beads. « Discovered this during a mission on Dantooine. It’s supposed to protect its wearer. If you’re stranded somewhere without a weapon or an escape route, you’re pretty much doomed with or without it, but who knows? »
He breathed out very slowly, rubbing his thumb over one of the beads. « Gotta cover all the angles, right?»
If Finn’s heart started beating any stronger, he was sure Poe would be able to hear it from his seat. He felt so good and so bad at the same time, because Poe’s present was filling him with joy, and a simple thank you just wasn’t enough to answer to that. He had nothing to give back in return, he was sure now that with so little of what he knew from life there was nothing he could have picked that would have been as meaningful as what Poe had given him. Force help him, how could he have thought that a plush toy would have been acceptable next to this?
Poe spotted his trouble, still holding out the bracelet in front of him.
« You… don’t like it? » he asked in a trembling voice, much to Finn’s horror.
« No, that’s not it, I love it, it’s just… I got you nothing » he answered.
He felt his throat tightening up, and swallowed hard.
«It’s okay, Finn » Poe said very softly. « I didn’t get you this because I was expecting something in return. » His smile was warm, and Finn knew that he was telling the truth.
He rolled up his sleeve on his right arm and reached it out for Poe. « I want to wear it now » he explained.
He gasped as Poe’s fingers brushed against the skin of his wrist, fastening the bracelet. They remained a little longer over his wrist than what was necessary, and Finn was enjoying this, feeling Poe’s skin over his own. He looked up at Poe, and there was a subtle change in his expression, his warm smile turning into a smirk that made his heart skip a beat in his chest.
The waiter droid interrupted the moment, announcing in a neutral voice the numerous dishes they had ordered.
Finn ate his food slowly, wanting to feel all the flavors, engraving the sensations in his memory. Poe answered his question about what everything was, providing insight on the food’s provenance. Finn started imagining the locations Poe talked about, realizing that the other man had already lived his fair share of adventures before meeting Finn. He laughed as Poe started chewing almost angrily on a piece of poultry.
« I hate nunas, but they taste delicious » Poe explained. « Got bitten by a nuna when I was a kid and visited Naboo with my parents. Now I’m enjoying my sweet, sweet revenge whenever I can ».
He shot a mischievous smile before cutting up another piece, and Finn felt like that he was finally getting his share of civilian fun, as Poe had called it. When he and Rey wandered into the shopping district earlier, he had spotted the numerous patrol droids and the government posters on the streets indicating the nearest bomb shelters. Yet the people there seemed almost unaffected by it, going on with their days, hanging out with friends, lovers or family.
Now, at this table, looking up at Poe who gazed at him like he was the most important person in the whole galaxy, talking about foreign dishes from distant worlds, he felt a little closer to them. He could too almost forget that there was a war going and that they were both soldiers risking their life to end the First Order’s reign of terror.
He never wanted this feeling to end.