Poe figures he - and only he - has had experience and enough time to figure out his limits, and gives his partner/s permission to push bdsm sex as far as they want... only maybe he's too far gone for him/her/them to actually say no when it's not good for him. Finn and/or Rey just want to figure out why he keeps giving one set of (very gentle) rules for them and a whole other set for himself.

+ bonus feat. the other pilots being protective at some point because goddamn it poe is their golden idiot child