You wrote that really well! Kylo's obliviousness was so cringe-worthy, I swear I actually winced at the screen during his awful, awful attempts at seduction. Even when he realises why Hux isn't responding the way he wants, there's still that level of 'but I'm different! Why do you feel this way?' that just feels so... Kylo; really in character.

It's also nice that he backed off and I liked how it basically took near-death to change the dynamic. Good job!